I had such a strange dream the other day. I dreamed that I got shot in the head at point-blank range and that it was right before a party that I was throwing at a friend's house. I was so put-out with the fact that I had just been shot (like "of ALL the days to get shot in the head . . .") and my friends and I were trying to decide if we really needed to call 911 because we didn't want to interrupt the party. In the end, we decided to call but, when the ambulance arrived, it was messing up the parking for the party and my friends had to ask the paramedics to move the ambulance so that the guests could park their cars. Like I said . . . STRANGE.
I was telling some of my friends about this dream and they said that I should look it up to see what the dream means. I didn't really feel that was necessary because I thought it seemed pretty clear that my dream means that my friends care more about their party than me getting shot in the head. BUT I decided to look it up for fun on an online dream dictionary just to see what it said. I didn't find anything particularly enlightening about THAT dream but I spent some time looking at interpretations of other types of dreams and found some particularly interesting ones.
For instance, there are the "people really dream about that?" dreams:
"To dream that a preacher shoots you, signifies that you will be annoyed by some friend advancing views condemnatory to those entertained by yourself." Aaaaaaaaaaaaaactually, I think it signifies that you should change churches . . .
"If you dream of a silkworm, you will engage in a very profitable work, which will also place you in a prominent position." Dreaming of silkworms? Seriously? I don't even know what a silkworm LOOKS like. Do people really DREAM about them?
"To dream of hissing persons, is an omen that you will be displeased beyond endurance at the discourteous treatment shown you while among newly made acquaintances." Either that or you just read the Twilight saga and you're dreaming about your vampire boyfriend hissing and growling at people who are trying to hurt you. Not that I've had that dream or anything . . .
"To put money on the eyes of a corpse in your dreams, denotes that you will see unscrupulous enemies robbing you while you are powerless to resent injury. If you only put it on one eye you will be able to recover lost property after an almost hopeless struggle. For a young woman this dream denotes distress and loss by unfortunately giving her confidence to designing persons." If you're dreaming about putting money in the eyes of corpses, don't tell anyone but a licensed professional . . .
And then there are the dreams about things that I've never heard about. I call these the "You're too smart for your own dreams" dreams:
"To imagine while dreaming that you are a somnambulist, portends that you will unwittingly consent to some agreement of plans which will bring you anxiety or ill fortune." Seriously - can't you just say "sleepwalker?" Do you have to be pretentious in your dreams, too??
"To dream of gaiters, foretells pleasant amusements and rivalries." Clearly we're not talking about "gators." So yeah, this dream is too smart for me.
"To dream that you are the subject of calumny, denotes that your interests will suffer at the hands of evil-minded gossips." A what-y?
"To dream of suffering with chilblains, denotes that you will be driven into some bad dealing through over anxiety of a friend or partner. This dream also portends your own illness or an accident." Okay. Thanks. Good to know. Note to self: look up "chilblains."
"To see a jackdaw, denotes ill health and quarrels." Will it be wearing a name tag that says "Hello. My name is Jackdaw"? Because, if not, I don't think I'm gonna spot it . . .
And, of course, there were the "Dreams that I can relate to":
"To dream of wearing a girdle, and it presses you, denotes that you will be influenced by designing people." Of course, I haven't actually DREAMED of wearing a girdle but I have THOUGHT about wearing a girdle. Does that count?
"For a young woman to dream of being in a military camp she will marry the first time she has a chance." If I had a dime . . .
And then the "Well, I coulda told you THAT" dreams:
"To dream of crabs . . . portends to lovers a long and difficult courtship." Well, of COURSE it does . . .
And then there are the "Wow. That is SPECIFIC" dreams:
"For a young woman to glide in a canoe across a canal, denotes a chaste life and an adoring husband. If she crossed the canal on a bridge over clear water and gathers ferns and other greens on the banks, she will enjoy a life of ceaseless rounds of pleasure and attain to high social distinction. But if the water be turbid she will often find herself tangled in meshes of perplexity and will be the victim of nervous troubles." Well, that's pretty specific but, okay - maybe lots of people can relate . . .?
"To pass down an avenue of white chrysanthemums, with here and there a yellow one showing among the white, foretells a strange sense of loss and sadness, from which the sensibilities will expand and take on new powers. While looking on these white flowers as you pass, and you suddenly feel your spirit leave your body and a voice shouts aloud “Glory to God, my Creator,” foretells that a crisis is pending in your near future. If some of your friends pass out, and others take up true ideas in connection with spiritual and earthly needs, you will enjoy life in its deepest meaning. Often death is near you in these dreams." I think some marijuana might be near you, too . . .
"For a young woman to dream that a friend rides behind her on a horse, denotes that she will be foremost in the favors of many prominent and successful men. [Nice. Gonna shoot for that dream tonight . . .] If she was frightened, she is likely to stir up jealous sensations. [Makes sense . . .] If after she alights from the horse it turns into a pig, [Wow. Didn't see that one coming. But okaaaaaaay . . .] she will carelessly pass by honorable offers of marriage, preferring freedom until her chances of a desirable marriage are lost. If afterward she sees the pig sliding gracefully along the telegraph wire, [I'm sorry . . . what?] she will by intriguing advance her position." The disturbing thing is that someone actually HAD that dream. Doesn't get much weirder than that, folks . . .
"To see a horse in human flesh, descending on a hammock through the air, and as it nears your house is metamorphosed into a man, and he approaches your door and throws something at you which seems to be rubber but turns into great bees, denotes miscarriage of hopes and useless endeavors to regain lost valuables." Well, looky there. I stand corrected . . .
Makes me feel a lot better about my own dreams, that's for sure.
Well, better get to bed. There's a military camp out there that's not gonna dream itself . . .