Monday, November 29, 2010

A family that laughs together . . .

Holidays in my family have always been lots of fun - I have one of the funniest families I know so, as you can imagine, we laugh LOTS when we're all together. In fact, it's not uncommon for me and my mom and sisters to spend an evening like Thanksgiving laughing so hard that we cry all our mascara off. You'd think that, after all these years, we'd have learned to just wear waterproof mascara to family functions.

But I digress . . .

This year, our weekend started out pretty normally: we got together at my mom and dad's house on Thursday and ate until we had to unbutton our pants (or undo the ponytail-holder-rigged button in some cases . . .). But after we ate, I had the brilliant idea of starting a new tradition of playing Truth or Dare with my sisters and their kids. If you've never played that game with young kids, you need to do so immediately - it's hilarious. But you should be warned that, if you find yourself playing with a 5, 6, 8, and 9 year old like I did, asking for a dare may prove to be a dangerous choice. You may end up, like me, having to drink a mixture of milk, water, and pickle juice, or having to run around the cul-de-sac yelling "Who farted?" And you'll probably sink to new levels of immaturity like my sister did when she dared my nephew to run around the cul-de-sac yelling "I farted." But, believe me . . . regardless of the new depths you sink to, you will laugh off your first 5 slices of pumpkin pie in the process. Not that ANYONE would eat 5 pieces of pumpkin pie in one day. That would be shameful and disgusting, of course . . .

Quit judging me.

ANYWAY . . . although Thursday's Truth or Dare game was my favorite part of the weekend, Friday provided another awesome moment. We were sitting in the living room at my mom and dad's house when Tammy spotted a lizard on my mom's mantel, above the fireplace. Unfortunately, Ben was the only male in the house and, since he is only 6 and shorter than everyone but my youngest niece, he was not able to help get the lizard out of the house. We were, therefore, faced with a choice: grab the pumpkin pie and put my mom's house up for sale immediately without looking back, or get the lizard out ourselves. What ensued was the most hilarious scene and, by the time I had the idea to video it, I had missed most of the screaming and pandemonium. But, for what it's worth, here is a glimpse into what life with my family is like . . .

Ah . . . good times. Good times.

I am truly thankful for these crazy people the Lord gave me for a family . . . they make my sides hurt, keep my snort well-practiced, and make my dimples earn their keep. What would I do without them? Well, actually . . . without them, there'd be more pumpkin pie for ME, wouldn't there?

You know, maybe laughing is a bit overrated . . .

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Yesterday's soundbites . . . today.

When we were growing up, my mom had many expressions to correct us or to teach us something. Some were just normal things that every mother says like "You better wipe that look off your face right now, young lady" or "As long as you're living under MY roof . . ." - you know, things like that. But some of her expressions or sayings were a little more uniquely Nora. And they are like little Nora soundbites that are burned into my memory. Like . . .

When she used to point to something that we had left on the stairs and say (just a BIT sarcastically), "Okay - let's play Sesame Street. What's wrong with this picture?" I always wanted to respond by saying "I don't know - what's wrong with your FACE?" but I never did. Because, when it came down to it, I liked being alive too much to risk it . . .

Or when she'd yell for us to come downstairs and we'd yell down "Okay - wait just a second!" and then she'd yell up "No . . . I don't wait - YOU wait." Yeah - that NEVER got annoying . . .

Or anytime the dryer buzzer went off, she'd yell "GRAB 'EM!!!!" from wherever she was in the house. She might be buried in the back of her closet but we'd hear a muffled "GRAB 'EM!!!" and we'd have to jump into action, like firefighters responding to a 5 alarm fire. I'm actually surprised she never installed a fireman's pole for us. We'd run from wherever we were in the house to help get the clothes out of the dryer and laid out onto the couch before they wrinkled, all the while listening to her say "Hurry! Grab 'em! Lay 'em out!" It was as if a wrinkle in a shirt caused irreparable damage to the fabric. To this day, the sound of a dryer buzzer going off makes me a little jumpy.

Another one of her favorite things to do was to interrupt us with "Where did you go?" if we ever said "I go" instead of "I said." This particular soundbite had the potential to get you so frustrated that you completely forgot what you were trying to say. Let me give you an example . . .

Me: And then I go "Y'all should come -"
Mom: [with mock concern] Where did you go??
Me: What?
Mom: [still with the mock concern . . .] Well, you just left in the middle of the conversation. That seems a little rude.
Me: [catching on . . .] Oh. Then I SAID "Y'all should come sit over here with us." And she went "No - I'm -"
Mom: Where did SHE go?
Me: What?
Mom: She just walked away?
Me: Well, I don't know about her but I'M walking away from THIS conversation . . .

You're jealous that you didn't grow up in our household, aren't you?

One of my mom's favorite expressions, though, was (and, actually, still is) "We're having Christian fellowship." My parents were great believers in spending family time together. We always had dinner together as a family around the dining room table and we always had conversations as a family. My parents didn't just talk to each other - we all talked. Even if my dad was telling us about his day at work, we kids were involved in the discussion, asking questions and making comments and jokes. This is what my mom called "Christian fellowship" - enjoying each others' company without distraction. So it was common in our house for my mom to say things like "Turn the television off, we're having Christian fellowship" or "Put the New Kids on the Block magazine down, we're having Christian fellowship" or "Stop looking at your bangs in the mirror, Catherine. We're having Christian fellowship." Hey - I couldn't help it. I had ROCKIN' bangs and the mirror was RIGHT . . . THERE . . .

What's funny to me is that many of the expressions that used to annoy us as kids, my sisters are now using with THEIR kids. It's funny how that happens. In fact, just the other day, I met my mom and sisters and their kiddos for lunch after church. The kids were at one end of the table and Savannah was playing with Erin's phone while Emma and Ben looked over her shoulder at the game she was playing. Avery came over to me and asked if she could play with my phone so I said yes. I am, after all, the world's greatest aunt. A few minutes later, we had this conversation:

Erin: [to Savannah] Okay, Savannah - let me have my phone back. Y'all should be having Christian fellowship.
Savannah: [gives the phone to Erin] Mommy, Avery still has Catchy's phone.
Erin: Avery, put the phone down and visit.
Me: Ummmm . . . that's MY phone and she just got it, thankyouverymuch. I think I'm in charge of MY phone, don't yoooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuu? [Hey - never said I was the world's greatest sister . . .]
Erin: [smiling and shaking her head] Okaaaaaaaaaaaay . . .
[2 minutes pass by . . .]
Savannah: [fully feeling the injustice of the situation . . .] Mommy, Avery STILL has Catchy's phoooooooooone.
Erin: [glaring at me] Well, Catchy said she could play with it for a few more minutes.
Savannah: [to Avery] Avery. Put the phone down.
Avery: [ignoring her]
Savannah: AVERY. Put the phone down. [then, thoroughly frustrated and through almost-gritted teeth . . .] WE'RE HAVING CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP!!

Oh the joy of seeing a good family tradition being passed on to the next generation! I just pray that they don't carry on the "GRAB 'EM!!!" tradition.

No child deserves that . . .

Monday, November 22, 2010

Everything? Really?

As y'all know, I feel personally called to eradicate the abuse and overuse of the word "literally." The environment, the ozone, the economy - these are not my concerns. If my kids and grandkids are going to inherit a world with a hole in the ozone, I at least want it to be a world where no one says "The hole in the ozone is LITERALLY ruining my life." That is my pledge to the children of the future.

So you can imagine my dismay when I saw this spice as I was shopping this weekend:

This may very well be a losing fight . . .

Friday, November 19, 2010

Ben's Solution

The other day, my mom was driving around with Ben (my 6 year-old nephew) and she decided to try to have a deep conversation with him - to really figure out what makes him tick. I love it when my mom tries to have these types of conversations with the kids because they invariably result in something hilarious. And this conversation with Ben was no exception . . .

Mom: Ben, what makes you happy?
Ben: [shrugs his shoulders] I dunno.
Mom: Well, think about it. What makes you REALLY happy?
Ben: Ummmmm . . . I don't know.
Mom: Does it make you happy when -
Ben: Oh! I know what makes me happy!
Mom: Oh good! Tell me! [prepares for deep answer]
Ben: Chocolate.
Mom: Okaaaaaaaaaay. Good to know. [thinking how she can dig a little deeper] Well, what makes you SAD?
Ben: I don't know.
Mom: You don't know?
Ben: No. I don't know. [pauses to think] I know what makes YOU sad, Dearsie.
Mom: You do? What do you think?
Ben: You wanna be with Grandpa.
Mom: [well, you can't get any deeper than that . . .] Yes - that does make me sad. But that would be a little hard for me to do right now.
Ben: No it wouldn't.
Mom: [surprised] It wouldn't?
Ben: No . . . I can just shoot you.
Mom: [stunned silence]
Ben: [as if to help her connect the dots . . .] Aaaaaaaaaaaand then you can be with Grandpa.

Well, he's a problem solver - you gotta give him that!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Out of the mouths of babes . . .

I was out with my sister Erin and her kiddos the other night and we were being helped by a really nice man who also happened to be really cute. Erin, in her usual fashion, decided that I should marry him. So, after he walked away, we had this discussion:

Erin: Catherine! He is super presh.
Me: Yeah, he is.
Erin: I need you to marry him.
Me: Okay.
Erin: Catherine, I'm SERIOUS.
Me: Oh, I know.
Erin: Savannah, don't you think that Catchy should marry that guy?
Savannah (8 yrs old): [giggling nervously] Yeaaaaaaaaaaaah.
Erin: Don't you think he's so presh?
Savannah: Yeah - he IS presh, Catchy.
Erin: What do YOU think Avery? Should Catchy marry that man?
Avery (5 yrs old): [looks up uninterested and shrugs her shoulders] He's probably married . . .
Me: Preach it, girl.

Great. My love life has caused my 5 year old niece to become jaded.


Tuesday, November 16, 2010

A new level of awkward.

There was a time in my life - a beautiful, carefree time - when I thought that the most awkward thing I could ever do was work out to Hip Hop Abs. Oh to relive those days of blissful ignorance! But, alas, that time is no more. I have seen the truth and there is no turning back. For I have attempted Hip Hop Abs 2.




I'm actually still blushing from embarrassment and my workout ended 2 hours ago. But I can't help it - it was THAT bad. It started out okay - just a few jumping jacks and some hops. Nothing I can't handle because I'm super-ripped, of course. But then before I knew it we were doing the booty pop. You know, as in Beyonce's signature move.

The booty pop, y'all. THE FREAKIN' BOOTY POP.

I don't know if my booty was "popping" so much as it was apologizing. I could actually hear it giggling nervously and muttering things like "Oh my gosh - I'm sooooooooo sorry!" and "In all fairness, I'm really more into country music . . ." I'm pretty sure that I owe Beyonce some sort of monetary damages for what I did to that move. It was bad. My booty is just NOT meant to move that way . . .

So, as you can imagine, I was glad when the booty pop was over and we moved on to other moves. I convinced myself that I had seen the worst - that the rest of the workout would be a breeze. I mean, WHAT could Shaun T. throw at me that would be worse than the booty pop? Aaaaaaaand that's when we moved into the Double Dutch jump-roping section of the workout.

Okay - the joke's on me, Shaun T. Joke's on me . . .

In this part of the workout you do moves as if you were jumping double dutch. Sounds easy enough, right. I mean, there's no actual JUMP ROPE so it should be a breeze, right? Not so much. I mean, have you ever SEEN me try to jump double-dutch? It's You-Tube worthy, friends. And I'm here to tell you tonight that taking the jump rope out of the picture doesn't make it any better.

Just when I was about to give up, Shaun T. told us that we were going to be doing a move called the Washing Machine. "Finally!" I thought. "A move I'll be able to do! I know how to run a washing machine so this should be my shining moment! If only people were here to see how I dominate this move!" I was so excited. And then they started doing the Washing Machine . . . whiiiiiiiiiiile I stood motionless in my living room, staring at the TV with a confused expression, trying to figure how they were moving their hips that way without herniating their L-5s. Apparently there is a LOT of gyrating that takes place in your washing machine when you're not looking . . .

I thought about giving up after that but then I determined that I would see it through to the end. There was no way to make me feel more inadequate than I already did so what was the harm? That's when Shaun T. brought the tempo down for us to do the Ghetto Stomp.

Wow. I stand corrected. My inadequacy is limitless.

It was at that point that I threw my head back, shook my fist at the sky, and cursed my parents for not raising us in ghetto. How could they have been so selfish? But, unable to do anything about my childhood, I pushed on. I did my best to do the move but, in the end, I'm pretty sure I did a Master-planned Community Stomp. And I'm really not sure that's what Sean T. was shooting for . . .

And so begins the next phase of my workout regime. I'm really looking forward to finishing it so that I can move on to other programs with moves that are just a BIT less awkward for me. You know - something like Yoga Booty Ballet or Shakira's Belly Dance Workout.

Those sound promising . . .

Friday, November 12, 2010

Veterinarian's Day . . .

I had dinner with Erin and her kiddos tonight at Cheesecake Factory for our weekly Girls' Night. Normally, Tammy and my mom are there with us but, tonight, Tammy was sick and my mom was visiting a friend of ours so it was just me and Erin. We missed them, of course, but then Savannah (my 8-year old niece) started telling us about what she learned at school today about Veteran's Day and, suddenly, it was like my mom was right there with us . . .

Savannah: I almost CRIED at school today, Mommy.
Erin: Why??
Savannah: Because Mrs. Duvall told us every little detail about Veterinarian's Day.
Erin: Oh she did?
Savannah: Yes. EVERY little detail.
Me: What did she tell you about it?
Savannah: She just told us every little detail about EVERY war.
Me: Oh - was it really sad?
Savannah: Yes. SO many people were crying and she just kept telling us about more sad stuff.
Erin: Sounds like Mrs. Duvall and Dearsie would get along well . . .
Me: Seriously . . .
Savannah: I didn't cry but I ALMOST did.
Me: Well, which wars did you learn about?
Savannah: Ummmmm . . . the Several War . . .
[Suddenly, the competition was on. It was like Erin and I were sitting with my mom trying to interpret her movie titles or restaurant names . . .]
Me and Erin: [trying to guess the right name before the other one does . . .] The Civil War?!
Savannah: Yeah.
Me: [to Erin] That was a tie.
Erin: What else did you learn about?
Savannah: Ummmmm . . . the World War. The FIRST World War and the SECOND World War.
Me: Wow - you learned a lot! Any others?
Savannah: Yes - we learned about the Rindleberry War.
Me: Okay - I'm out on that one.
Erin: The Revolutionary War . . . good! What else?
Savannah: The Kemah War.
Erin: [head down, focusing, determined to figure it out before me]
Me: Iwo Jima?
Erin: Nice . . .
Savannah: No - the KEMAH War.
Erin: Oh - that wasn't it? I'm still in it? [head back down, new look of determination in her eyes]
Me: Oh - KOREA.
Erin: Dangit.
Savannah: No, Catchy - the KOREAN War.
Erin: Yeah, Catchy - the KOREAN War.
Me: Oh - I was WAY off . . .
Erin: What else did you learn about?
Savannah: The TeamTom war.
Me: TeamTom??
Erin: Vietnam?
Savannah: Yeah.
Me: Wow. You win.

Well, frankly, I think she won after Rindleberry but TeamTom pretty much sealed the deal . . .

I'm so thankful that I live in a country where I can meet my sister and nieces for a fun dinner whenever I want. I'm so thankful that I live in a country where little girls can go to school and learn about our country's history. I'm so thankful that I live in a country where my biggest worry is whether or not I'll beat my sister at guessing what my mom or my niece are talking about. And I'm so thankful for all the veterans who have served near and far - and apparently right here in Kemah - to keep it that kind of country. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

Happy Veterinarian's Day!! :)

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Ouch - that's a bit harsh, don't you think?

I sent an email out today to a list of young lawyers in the area. Almost immediately, two of the emails were kicked back to me as bad email addresses. That's nothing new - I get those "mailer daemon" or "mail delivery system" emails every time I send an email to a bad address. I usually just delete them but, for some reason, I actually read one of them today. And I have to say that it was a bit harsh . . . does not like recipient.
Remote host said: 550 5.7.1 Recipient rejected (R7)
Giving up on

Seriously - did they hire a group of high school girls to write their email codes? I mean, all that's missing is "O . . .M . . .G . . . - Recipient is like a MAJOR loser . . . I mean, did you SEE her outfit today?"

Oh great - now I feel like I need to seek out "recipient" and become friends with her so that she won't feel rejected . . .

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The day I've been waiting for . . .

Well, it's finally happened. My biggest dream has come true.

No, the New Kids on the Block have NOT finally asked me to be their opening act.

No, I have NOT invented an adult-sized Sit & Spin.

And no, Mike Rowe has NOT proposed to me, despite my repeated efforts to seduce him through my television screen.

No - I'm talking about something bigger. Something more unbelievable. Something - well, I'm just gonna say it - miraculous. You see, friends, the research I've been waiting for all my life has finally been released. All my struggles are over. And my life may never be the same. "What is this life-changing research, Catherine??? We're dying to know!!" you exclaim. Okay, okay. I'll tell you. Wait, no - I'll let you read the article that my friend Ellen forwarded to me today. You read it and judge for yourselves if it's not the most exciting thing you've ever heard.

I daresay that you, like me, shall LITERALLY jump for joy:


(CNN) -- Twinkies. Nutty bars. Powdered donuts.

For 10 weeks, Mark Haub, a professor of human nutrition at Kansas State University, ate one of these sugary cakelets every three hours, instead of meals. [So, wait - OTHER people do that, too?? I think he might be my soulmate.] To add variety in his steady stream of Hostess and Little Debbie snacks, Haub munched on Doritos chips, sugary cereals and Oreos, too. [Mmmmmmm . . . yes, please . . .]

His premise: That in weight loss, pure calorie counting is what matters most -- not the nutritional value of the food. [I like where this is going . . .]

The premise held up: On his "convenience store diet," he shed 27 pounds in two months. [Wait - what? . . . What? . . . WHAT??? This is . . . I never thought I'd . . . so it really . . . breathe, Catherine . . . breathe . . .]

For a class project, Haub limited himself to less than 1,800 calories a day. A man of Haub's pre-dieting size usually consumes about 2,600 calories daily. So he followed a basic principle of weight loss: He consumed significantly fewer calories than he burned. [Wait - let me get a pen a paper so I can take some notes.]

His body mass index went from 28.8, considered overweight, to 24.9, which is normal. He now weighs 174 pounds. [I'm crying. I'm ACTUALLY crying.]

But you might expect other indicators of health would have suffered. Not so. [gulp]

Haub's "bad" cholesterol, or LDL, dropped 20 percent and his "good" cholesterol, or HDL, increased by 20 percent. He reduced the level of triglycerides, which are a form of fat, by 39 percent. [Blah blah blah . . . get to the important stuff - did he LOVE the Swiss Cake Rolls or WHAT??]

"That's where the head scratching comes," Haub said. "What does that mean? Does that mean I'm healthier? Or does it mean how we define health from a biology standpoint, that we're missing something?"[Ummmmm . . . it means I'm having Swiss Cake Rolls for dinner and no one can judge me!!]

Despite his temporary success, Haub does not recommend replicating his snack-centric diet. [Oh, oooooooooookay. Wink wink, riiiiiiiiight?]

"I'm not geared to say this is a good thing to do," [I am. I am DEFINITELY geared to do that.] he said. "I'm stuck in the middle. I guess that's the frustrating part. I can't give a concrete answer. There's not enough information to do that."

Two-thirds of his total intake came from junk food. [Seriously, I want to kiss this guy.] He also took a multivitamin pill and drank a protein shake daily. And he ate vegetables, typically a can of green beans or three to four celery stalks. [Ah now that's just a sign of weakness, man. If you can't commit 100% to Little Deb, just go home.]

Families who live in food deserts have limited access to fresh fruits and vegetables, so they often rely on the kind of food Haub was eating. [Note to self: find a "food desert" and research real estate prices there.]

"These foods are consumed by lots of people," he said. "It may be an issue of portion size and moderation rather than total removal. I just think it's unrealistic to expect people to totally drop these foods for vegetables and fruits. It may be healthy, but not realistic." [Preach it, brotha!!]

Haub's body fat dropped from 33.4 to 24.9 percent. This posed the question: What matters more for weight loss, the quantity or quality of calories? [Why are we talking about this? Who cares? IT'S A DIET OF LITTLE DEBBIES!!!!]

His success is probably a result of caloric reduction, said Dawn Jackson Blatner, a dietitian based in Atlanta, Georgia. [Oh great - who invited the dietitian to the party?]

"It's a great reminder for weight loss that calories count," she said. "Is that the bottom line to being healthy? That's another story."

Blatner, a spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association, said she's not surprised to hear Haub's health markers improved even when he loaded up on processed snack cakes.

Being overweight is the central problem that leads to complications like high blood pressure, diabetes and high cholesterol, she said. [Buzz kill . . .]

"When you lose weight, regardless of how you're doing it -- even if it's with packaged foods, generally you will see these markers improve when weight loss has improved," she said.

Before jumping on the Ding Dong bandwagon, Blatner warned of health concerns. [Ooooooof course she did. Dang dietitians. They are so annoy- wait . . . did they say Ding Dongs? Mmmmmm . . . ding dongs . . .]

"There are things we can't measure," said Blatner, questioning how the lack of fruits and vegetables could affect long-term health. "How much does that affect the risk for cancer? We can't measure how diet changes affect our health." [(fingers in ears) LALALALALALA I CAN'T HEEEEEEEAR YOOOOOOOU!!! LALALALALALA]

On August 25, Haub, 41, started his cake diet focusing on portion control.

"I'm eating to the point of need and pushing the plate or wrapper away," he said. [What? Pushing the plate away? What is this strange concept about which you speak??]

He intended the trial to last a month as a teaching tool for his class. As he lost weight, Haub continued the diet until he reached a normal body mass index.

Before his Twinkie diet, he tried to eat a healthy diet that included whole grains, dietary fiber, berries and bananas, vegetables and occasional treats like pizza. [Never again, my friend. Never again.]

"There seems to be a disconnect between eating healthy and being healthy," Haub said. "It may not be the same. I was eating healthier, but I wasn't healthy. I was eating too much."

He maintained the same level of moderate physical activity as before going on the diet. (Haub does not have any ties to the snack cake companies.)

To avoid setting a bad example for his kids, Haub ate vegetables in front of his family. Away from the dinner table, he usually unwrapped his meals. [For the first time in my life, I'm thankful I don't have kids.]

Haub monitored his body composition, blood pressure, cholesterol and glucose, and updated his progress on his Facebook page, Professor Haub's diet experiment.

To curb calories, he avoided meat, whole grains and fruits. Once he started adding meat into the diet four weeks ago, his cholesterol level increased.

Haub plans to add about 300 calories to his daily intake now that he's done with the diet. But he's not ditching snack cakes altogether. Despite his weight loss, Haub feels ambivalence.

"I wish I could say the outcomes are unhealthy. I wish I could say it's healthy. I'm not confident enough in doing that. That frustrates a lot of people. One side says it's irresponsible. It is unhealthy, but the data doesn't say that." [Trust the data, my friend. Trust the data.]


Aaaaaaand cue the Hallelujah Chorus . . .

Monday, November 8, 2010


My mom loves going to movies so she'll often ask me and my sisters if we want to go see a particular movie with her. As I've mentioned before, though, this can be tricky because she can never remember the name movies. So, out of necessity, my sisters and I have become expert Nora translators:

Mom: There are couple of movies that out that I really want to see if anyone wants to go.
Me: Sure - which ones do you want to see.
Mom: Well, that one that Brian was just telling me about. Ummmm . . .[thinking of the name]
Bro-in-law Brian: [helping her out] Inside Job.
Mom: Yeah, that one.
Me: Huh. I haven't even heard of that one.
Tammy: I want to see Conviction SO bad.
Mom: Yeah - I'd see that one, too. And I REALLY want to see that faceplace one.
Me: The faceplace one?
Mom: Yeah. The one about faceplace.
Me: You mean The Social Network?
Mom: Yeah - that one.
Me: About faceBOOK.
Mom: Whatever.

I'm gonna be like that one day, too, aren't I?

I hope my kids don't blog . . .

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Now where did you learn THAT??

My sister Erin was out shopping with her kids the other day and, just as they were leaving the store, Savannah (7) unwrapped a candy bar and threw the wrapper in a shopping cart that she was walking past. Erin couldn't believe what she had seen - she does NOT want her kids to be disrespectful like that or to be litterbugs. So she stopped the kids . . . and decided to have a teaching moment:

Erin: Ummmm . . . Savannah - you can't do that.
Savannah: What?
Erin: [pointing to the shopping cart] You can't mess with Texas.
Savannah: Mommy - I didn't mess with Texas. I messed with a shopping cart.
Erin: It doesn't matter - you can't do that. It's littering. [Deciding to pull out the big guns . . .] You can go to jail for that.
Savannah: No I won't, Mommy. They won't put me in jail.
Erin: Yes, they would.
Savannah: No, I wouldn't go to JAIL, Mommy. I'd just go to JUVIE.

And who says kids don't learn anything good in public schools??

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

My superhero counterpart.

I was driving home from the grocery store the other day when my phone rang. I saw that it was Jill so I answered it - not that I wouldn't have answered it if it was YOU . . . I mean, I always answer the phone when YOU call . . . it's just that . . . what I meant was . . . you see I just . . . [gulp] is it hot in here??

ANYWAY - I answered the phone and Jill greeted me with the words I've been waiting to hear all my life:

Me: Hey, Jilly!
Jill: Catherine - you're a superhero.
Me: I am?
Jill: Yes. An actual superhero.
Me: You mean to tell me that my application was finally accepted?
Jill: What?
Me: Wait - what?
Jill: [awkward pause] You're a superhero on PBS. And your name is Word Girl.
Me: There's a superhero named Word Girl??
Jill: Yes!!
Me: Oh my gosh!! I love her already!!
Jill: I know! Me, too!! And she's just like you!
Me: [getting carried away with excitement] She is??
Jill: [getting carried away with excitement, too] Yes!
Me: Perfect and precious with a butt that won't quit??!!??!!
Jill: Yes!!! And she even has a little brown bob like you! Aaaaaaaand she goes around fighting bad guys and correcting grammar and word choices!!
Me: That IS like me!! Does she eat Little Debbies for power??
Jill: I don't know!!
Me: [seriously] No doubt she does, Jill. No doubt she does.

Oh my gosh - I was so excited. I came right home and googled her and found this little clip that I wanted to share with you. Check out my newest favorite superhero:

God love PBS . . .