Thursday, August 27, 2009

Holy Mole-y!!

I had lunch at Berryhill last week with a group of friends. Have you ever eaten at a Berryhill? It's a Mexican restaurant and it's pretty good. They have really good nachos and a creamy jalapeno sauce that's kinda like Chuy's. I like to have a whole bowl of it to myself and not share with anyone. That's a little insight into my soul for ya.

ANYWAY . . .

As I was eating, I looked up and saw this:
When did the Mona Lisa become the blessed mother? And when did the blessed mother start eating fish tacos?
I think the chef took the lazy way out on that fish taco, by the way.

After I finished eating, I excused myself to go to the restroom. In order to get to the restrooms at this Berryhill, you have to walk through one door which takes you into a separate little hallway where you see the ladies' and men's rooms. So I walked through the first door into that little hallway and was greeted by this:
My first thought was "DANGIT!!" because I had to use the restroom so so badly but I HAD to stop and look at this picture at length. So I crossed my legs, did the pee pee dance, and took a closer look.

Wow. There's so much about this picture to talk about. First, her dress is hugging in all the wrong places. Need a closer look? Ok . . .

You know, I think I actually tried that dress on at Dillard's a few years ago. And let me tell ya, people, when a dress hugs the front of your thighs like THIS, it's time to admit that you've been hitting the Swiss Cake Rolls a little too hard. It's also time to get the next size up. If you won't do it for yourself, do it for the innocent children who might see you walking around in public. They don't need to see that.

I wonder who the inspiration for this picture was? Clearly it's someone who made the artist very angry. I mean, you just have to take one look at those thighs and cankles to realize that. Don't believe me? Look at the face:
Again . . . wow.

That's one rockin' double chin. Reminds me of my last driver's license picture, actually. And was the mole really necessary? I think if you get up close enough, you can see a hair coming out of it. Add in the football player neck and the lifeless hair that draws attention to the vastness of her face, and you've got one angry artist.

After I finished looking at the anatomically correct mole girl, I whipped my head around to my left to see what gem awaited me on the men's room door. I was not disappointed:

I thought to myself: "This place just gets awesomer and awesomer." Sure, "awesomer" is not a word but I had to go reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally bad. I like this guy for his beady eyes, his five o'clock shadow, and the slight Mexican mafia air he has. I think he's about to pick mole lady up for a hot date. And I think he's gonna like her dress.

And her mole . . .

3 comments:

The Queen of my Domain said...

Those were horrible.....definitely a match made in Heaven!

Erin said...

oh my gosh, how do you FIND these?? I think she needs to get that mole checked out! It is more than one color and larger than a pencil eraser!!

christi said...

hahahahahahahahahahahaha... holy crap. I thought nothing could be worse than Ring Girl and elephantitis guy but alas... I was wrong.