Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Does this song make my gut look big?

I listen to country music. Judge me if you must but it's who I am. Love me through it.

I hear people make fun of country songs all the time. Sometimes I give them a courtesy laugh. Sometimes I just stare blankly at them to make them feel uncomfortable. But most of the time I try to defend my favorite musical genre. I say things like "No, not all the songs are about losing your truck and your wife." or "No, they don't all make you want to cut your wrists." Things of this nature. I mean, some people just don't take my country music seriously. I tell them to give it a try - "listen to it for a while and I promise you'll like it!"

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand then they start playing songs like this one . . .

Seriously?? How can I work with this kind of material??

I know he's trying to say that her big ol' gut is a positive thing in his book but I just can't get into this song. Maybe it's because I keep picturing the face of the girl who is the subject of this song when she realizes that it's about her. Maybe it's because I could relate to it more if it were about rocking a Swiss Cake Roll gut. But mostly I think it's because it contains lines that I never want to hear sung about me. For instance . . .

"The first thing that caught my eye . . . she was rockin’ the beer gut"
What about my eyes??? My smile??? My winning personality??? If you tell me that my gut was the first thing that caught your eye, then my fist will be the first thing that catches your jaw.

Man, this song makes me violent.

"Well it’s just some extra love around her waist"
Is that supposed to make me feel better? Do you realize how long it took me to find the perfect shirt to HIDE the "extra love" around my waist?? Why don't you sing about THAT, you big jerk.

Breathe, Catherine. Breathe.

"With the blue jeans a little tight around her butt"
That's it. Let me at him. LET ME AT HIM!!!

And the worst thing about it is that, despite the fact that it is SUCH an annoying song that I despise with ever ounce of my being, I can't get it out of my head. It just plays over and over and I can't stop it. And you know what??

It'll be stuck in yours today, too.

You're welcome.


Unknown said...

Catchy Tune, BAD LYRICS! Ahem, not to be confused with "Catchy's tune."

Emma said...

That is horrible! Is that a real song??

Phyllis Eddings said...

It sounds like a spoof to me. And the name of the group...Trailer Choir? Definitely a joke. But, unfortunately, just as you said, I'm stuck with the tune in my head for the rest of the day. Thanks for sharing.

Catherine said...

It is NOT a spoof. It's a real song and they play it ALL THE TIME on the radio now. It's horrible!!!

Anonymous said...

Well, in all likelihood, it's about me- 'cause I ROCK the beer gut. No shame. (okay perhaps a little...)