Monday, June 14, 2010

Confessions from an otherwise brilliant mind.

This afternoon I spent about 5 minutes looking for my sunglasses and could NOT find them anywhere. I looked up, down, and all around, racking my brain to remember where I was when I had seen them last. I was on the brink of sheer panic when I said to my mom and sisters, in a slightly frantic voice "Have you seen my sunglasses anywhere???" They all three looked at my head and my mom said "Aren't they on your head?"

And then I felt like an idiot.

That happens a lot to me - I do something so dumb that I want to assure people around me that I really AM smarter than that. For instance, the other day I met some friends for lunch and, after we were finished, I re-filled my styrofoam cup to take my drink with me. When I got in my car, my cup-holders were already occupied with empty Diet Dr. Pepper cans (because my car is super clean like that) so I just put my styrofoam cup between the outside of my right thigh and my console. No more than five minutes later, as I was driving home, I heard an alarming squeaking noise and had no idea where it was coming from. It turned down my radio, turned off my A/C and listened closely. I convinced myself that the sound was coming from my dashboard so I started driving down the road with one ear down to the dashboard and one eye on the road and began to panic. Was my dashboard about to fall down? Do dashboards squeak when they're about to fall? How much would it cost me to get it fixed? I was just about to do a u-turn and head to the Ford dealership when it dawned on me that the sound was coming from my styrofoam cup.

Aaaaaaaaaaaand then I felt like an idiot.

And then there's the time that I was sitting in my uncle's recliner curling my cousin's hair as she sat on the floor in front of me. I curled a section of her hair and went to set the curling iron down so that I could use both hands to get another section ready for curling. But instead of setting it down on the end-table right next to me, I set it down on my thigh.

Soooooooooo then I was an idiot with a big blister on my thigh.

It's in those moments that I wonder how I ever graduated kindergarten, much less college. Luckily, I'm not alone. There are LOTS of people who are way smarter than me who do stupid things . . .

Like my sister Erin. She decided to make macaroni and cheese for her kids one day. When the noodles were finished cooking, she grabbed the colander so that she could strain the noodles. Aaaaaaand then she held the colander in the palm of her hand while she pour boiling water into it. Somehow she got out of that without having to get a skin graft . . .

Or my sister Tammy. She was driving in Dallas with her husband Brian and saw a sign that said "Frontage Road" so she exclaimed excitedly "They have a Frontage Road here? WE have a Frontage Road in Houston, too!"

And my mom. She really is one of the smartest people I know, which is why I don't feel bad making such fun of her in my posts. But she takes the cake on this one because she was in her thirties before she realized that Mt. Rushmore was NOT a natural phenomenon. Think about that, people - she spent MANY adult years thinking that these rocks just HAPPENED to look like four of our Presidents and that that's why it was such a big deal. Then there was the time in high school when a police officer was killed in the line of duty and people were driving with their headlights on during the day in honor of him. Tammy had been out in her car and was just blown away by the number of people who were driving with their lights on for the officer. She got home and told my mom all about it which, of course, made my mom want to go see it for herself. So Tammy drove her to a nearby bridge that would give her the perfect vantage point over the highway and would allow her to see all the headlights on in the broad daylight. My mom was taken aback by the sight. She put her hand over heart, shook her head slowly, and said "Oh! Just imagine what that would look like if everyone did that at NIGHT."

Yep. I'm in good company.

So now that I've aired my family's less-than-brilliant moments, it's time for the interactive portion of today's blog . . .

What's YOUR confession from YOUR otherwise brilliant mind??

Come on . . . it'll make me feel better about myself.

4 comments:

Christi Muhle said...

Oh. Em. Gee... I can't stop laughing... no really- still laughing. And please reassure your sister we have all made the Frontage Rd mistake. More stupid moments from my past later on.

Phyllis Eddings said...

My daughter Sarah posted this as her status on Facebook yesterday. Of course, I wasn't being serious, but it's the best I can come up with at the moment.

Sarah Eddings Me: Maybe you're getting the stomach bug that Doug had.
Mum: No, I think I'm getting the stomach bug that they had. (gestures to book) In New Moon.
Me: ...No. No, I don't think you are hahah


My comment on her post this morning: Thanks so much for posting that darling. Now everyone knows I spent the weekend in Forks

Tania said...

My senior year in high school, we took a trip to Dallas for a math competition with Mu Alpha Theata (you may have been on this trip) and visited the the JFK museum called The Sixth Floor Museum at Dealey Plaza. While staring out the window, in the middle of all my peers, the following words escaped my mouth: "Wow, we're up pretty high ... what floor are we on?" Did I mention I was the president? Not good ...

Sara Neiderhiser said...

I thought I had lost the title to my car and my mom said that a title search could be done and I replied "So people are going to come help me look for it?" Not one of my proudest moments...