Monday, June 28, 2010

Yeah, that's it - "cartilage."

My sister Erin likes to squeeze the tips of her kids' noses because she just thinks they have the cutest, squishiest little noses in the world. Sometimes the kids try to squeeze the tip of her nose in retaliation but it's not as squishy and, frankly, it hurts. When they asked her why her nose isn't as squishy as theirs, she quickly came up with the best answer she could think of on the spot: "Because you have more cartilage than I do."

Our family motto: "When you don't know the answer, make it up. And make it sound good."

ANYWAY, the other day Erin was lying on her couch and had her hand on her stomach. Out of morbid fascination, she decided to hit her stomach to see how much it would jiggle. It was so entertaining to her that she did it a few more times.

She assures me that this is the way super brilliant people spend their time.

Unbeknownst to Erin, her seven year old daughter Savannah was watching her from the love seat across the room and was greatly interested in this game her mother was playing. She got up from the love seat and laid down on the floor by the couch so that she'd be right by Erin. Then she hit her own belly to see what results she got. Since she naturally has the build of an Olympic gymnast who swims, plays tennis and soccer, lifts weights and runs marathons on the side, her belly didn't jiggle at all. (Don't hate your niece, Catherine. Do NOT hate your niece.)

She tried a couple more times, and each time her belly failed her miserably. She was so disappointed because, alas, she has the Hip Hop Abs I've always wanted. (Don't hate your niece, Catherine. Do NOT hate your niece.) She looked up at Erin and said sadly: "I guess you have more cartilage than I do, Mommy."

Erin assured her that's EXACTLY what it was.

But I think Savannah might be on to something. Why do I try to cut out "saturated fat" and "sodium" and "cholesterol" and "greasy foods that drip down my hands like glorious streams from Heaven?" Maybe the better bet is to try to cut out the cartilage from my diet. It's different but it could work . . . think I'll give it a shot.

And, lucky for me, Swiss Cake Rolls are cartilage-free . . .


Emma said...

freeeeeekin HYSTERICAL!!!!!!

by Tammy

Anonymous said...

I laughed all over again reading this!! she is crazy!