Monday, June 21, 2010

Searching for something?

I told y'all a few months ago about how I have an account with a company that monitors my website and gives me lots of helpful information about my blog. I can find out things like how many hits I'm getting each day (I'm growing - keep reading!), what areas of the world my readers are in (a big Hello to whoever is in Poland!), and what search terms people are using to land on my blog. Sometimes when I'm bored, I like to look at the search terms part because it's just interesting to see how people are finding my site. Most of the terms are some variation of my name or "The Catherine Chronicles" but SOME of the terms are just . . . well . . . they're kind of . . . one might say that they're . . . well, let me just give you some examples:

"Does this make my sog look big" - Okay . . . First of all, I have no idea what your sog is. Second, I'm not going to look at it to tell you if it looks big. And third, I don't like you looking on my blog for the answer to this question.

"'Adam's apple' 'Her throat'" - Oh boy. Ummmm . . . okay . . . wow . . . well, there's really no other way to say this . . . ummmmm - I don't think "her" is a "HER," if you know what I mean . . .

"Mommy you are easy target now" - This makes me feel a bit nervous because it sounds like a line from a horror movie. Please, don't do anything rash.

"What movie does the line 'mirrow mirrow on the wall' come from" - I don't think that line is in ANY movie, actually. Aaaaaaaaaand that's most likely due to the fact that "mirrow" IS NOT A WORD. But the line "MirrOR mirrOR on the wall" comes from Snow White.

"" - Seriously? Please tell me you're kidding. Please tell me you have a bet going on how quickly you can cause me to go into a full-blown seizure.

"How to be the coolest aunt ever" - Finally . . . something I'm an expert in. Aside from always having gum in your purse, letting your nieces and nephews climb on you like a jungle gym, and always siding with them when they get in trouble, you must remember three important words: sugar, sugar, sugar. And if you can sneak it to them right after they're parents have said no more, you're GOLDEN.

"Aunt is worst" - Shut your mouth.

"I clog the toilet" - Okaaaaaaaaay. Well, thanks for letting me know. And you know, the first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem so you're off to a good start, I guess . . .

"Prank call by Catherine" - Not guilty. And how'd you know it was me??

"But it's cool that you act like like you have no idea who I am" - Wow. SOMEbody went to their 10 year high school reunion and did NOT have a pleasant experience. But at least they're not bitter about it . . .

"Clipart tampon" - 1) Why do you need that? and 2) . . . WHY DO YOU NEED THAT???

"Rascal orgy queer now" - Ummmmmm . . . what? Man, talk about a SPECIFIC search. And you better wipe your hard drive before the FBI finds it, weirdo.

"Which way is up when you fall into a pool" - Mom? Is that you?

So those are the terms that are somehow bringing people to my blog. I'm sure they did NOT find what they were looking for but I'm glad they stopped by. And, I don't know about you, but I'm glad that we have all learned two very important lessons:

1) The word is "Mirror," people.

And 2) There's some guy out there looking for a "rascal orgy queer now."

Lock your doors, friends.


Christi said...

Oh my! I'm blushing and laughing uncontrollably... friggin awesome.

Erin said...

I think the guy wiped his hard drive at his rascal orgy! Inappropriate?