Wednesday, June 17, 2009

WiiFit, MiiFat

I've been in trial for the last two weeks and have not been working out. And let me tell ya, people - these abs aren't gonna get Hip Hop by the themselves, know what I'm sayin'?? So tonight I spent some time thinking about working out (you have to ease into these things, you know . . .) and have decided that I'm going to add WiiFit back into my workout routine. Have you ever done WiiFit? It's pretty fun to add into your routine but isn't really enough to be your total workout. But, although it's fun, there is a problem with it . . . it is absolutely brutal on your self esteem.

When you first fire it up, you have to create an avatar - that's the fun part of the process because you get to make it look just like you. Then you have to step on the little WiiFit board and let it weigh you. This is where things get personal. See, the WiiFit doesn't just tell you your weight. It puts your avatar on the screen and has it looking really excited for the results - like pacing and biting its nails. On the right side of the screen, there is a scale that resembles the "Test Your Strength" game that you see at carnivals. You know - the one where you hit it with a hammer and the thing goes up and up and up and tells you how strong you are? Well, that's how it tells you your weight - by having the arrow go up and up and up until it gets to your weight. That's bad enough. But the really bad thing is what is happening on the left side of the screen with the avatar.

While the arrow is going up and up and up, the avatar is getting fatter and fatter and fatter. It's horrifying. Then when the weight is revealed, the avatar puts its arms out and looks down at itself as if to say "What the . . . ?!?!?" while you stand in your living room feeling ashamed and mouthing an apology to your poor, unsuspecting avatar. To make matters worse, WiiFit has your avatar dressed in skin-tight yoga clothes which stretch with your avatar as you blimp up. And your belly is showing. It's such a blow to the self esteem. And, as if THAT wasn't enough, every time you weigh, you have to experience it all over again. You would think that your avatar would start out at your last weight and then get skinnier as you do. Don't you think that would be much more encouraging? But instead, it starts you off really skinny and blimps you up every time. So you could lose ten pounds in one week and still walk away with your head hung because you just had to watch your avatar get sucker-punched with a spare tire and a Lane Bryant credit card.

My roomies have avatars on there, too, and it's so embarrasing that my avatar is like a heavy-weight giant compared to theirs. And I can't escape the comparison because every time I turn the game on, all the avatars come running out. Melissa's and Tara's come out running daintily while mine comes bounding out, flat-footed to meet them. Then my avatar has to stand there with theirs, modeling my yoga pants and belly shirt. They might as well have a swimsuit competition on there to really drive my self-esteem into the ground.

So, wait . . . WHY am I wanting to start WiiFit again??


Alana said...

i love you catchy-
thx 4 the laugh

Unknown said...

Okay, so I didn't know this about WiiFit. I'm so sorry for your avatar. Were you able to take it out for a chocolate milkshake to make it feel better about itself?

Unknown said...

Next time just put 1 foot on the board. Show them!

Erin said...

my new favorite. tears streaming down my face! As soon as I saw the title I was laughing, but oh side hurts. When you said you mouthed an apology to your avatar, I lost it. sooo freakin funny...AND TRUE. I was completely traumatized. Matt and I have our little belly shirts and the Savannah and Avery avatars are running around cute and healthy as can be! What a rip off