Homeboys and Rockstars

When I first started my job, I wasn't sure if I'd be able to pull off some of the words I now have to say on a daily basis. I'm not talking about all the, ummmmmmmm, anatomical words I have to use . . . I just pray and go to my happy place when I have to use those terms in front of people. No, I'm talking about the slang I hear - if you read my Street Cred entry, you have an idea of what I'm talking about. At least once a week, I run across or hear a word I don't know. I try to see if I can figure it out from the context but that usually doesn't work. At that point, I curse George Strait for not educating me more in his songs and then vow to listen to more Eminem or Kanye West. Then I think to myself "Is it Kanye West or Kanye East?" And I end up getting so frustrated with my obvious suburbanitis that I just shut down, stare blankly at the wall, and calm myself with mini Twixes from my candy dish.

So you can imagine my excitement when I ran across this little gem of a deposition excerpt and realized that there are lawyers out there who are MUCH whiter than me:

Q. You've mentioned home boy, you know, you've used the term home boy. Now some of the jurors may not understand that term. That doesn't mean it's your brother who lives in your home with you, is it?

A. No, ma'am.

Q. What's a home boy?

A. Someone from your neighborhood, somebody you kick it with all the time.

Q. And "kick it with" means?

A. Mean hang out with.

****

Q. And when you say dopehead, what kind of drugs -

A. He's a rockstar. He love rocks. He's -

Q. When you say rockstar, you don't mean he plays a musical instrument, do you?

A. No ma'am. I mean he's strung out on rocks.

Isn't it nice to find someone you can gloat over? Someone who's worse off than you? I mean, I would NEVER ask the questions this lady asked about the terms that she heard. First of all, I learned the term "homeboy" from the New Kids on the Block, thankyouverymuch. I also learned to rap from them . . . AND from "Mr. Wendel." (10 seconds before that song gets stuck in your head . . .) Second, I would not have known what a "rockstar" was but you can bet your britches that I wouldn't have asked if he played a musical instrument. I am WAY cooler than SHE is.

But, then again, I just admitted that the New Kids were my rap mentors and then I used the term "bet your britches" so I'm not actually sure who's winning at this point . . .

Where are my mini Twixes?