Wednesday, May 20, 2009

A hairy situation.

I had a date with my mom tonight and we went to dinner at P.F. Chang's. The weather was beautiful so we sat outside to enjoy the evening while we ate our fried rice. We looked at the menu and decided that we couldn't decide between the vegetable fried rice and the chicken fried rice so we just decided to order both, in addition to our entrees. Our waiter was a young, slightly awkward guy who had the good manners to stop us while we were ordering to tell us firmly "That's REALLY going to be a lot of food." Well, thank you very much, Jenny Craig - just put our order in.

We chatted for a while and then our food came out. The guy who brought our food put the plates on our table, no doubt silently judging us for all the food we had ordered. I think I saw him give a knowing look to our waiter. ANYWAY, we started eating. My mom was eating her beef and broccoli and her vegetable fried rice when she discovered - horror of horrors - a hair in her food. She picked it up and turned to our waiter (who was right behind us) and showed it to him. She was looking over her glasses at him, as if to say "Now who's judging who . . .?" Needless to say, my mom's appetite suddenly disappeared.

Our waiter, continuing his awkwardness, came over and began questioning my mom: Where did it come from? Was it in the beef and broccoli or the fried rice? Are you sure it was a hair? Could it be ginger?

I'm sorry - did you say COULD IT BE GINGER???

Why does hair in food freak us out so much? I remember seeing a Jerry Seinfeld bit where he was talking about how people will go on and on about how beautiful someone's hair is, they'll even reach out to touch it and talk about how soft and silky it is. But as soon as it's in their food, they think it's disgusting. It's so true!!

I bet the chef at P.F. Chang's had a LOVELY blonde coiffure that day. She probably woke up, showered, put some mousse in, styled it JUST RIGHT with her roll brush, and admired herself in the mirror. When she walked in to work that night, people probably said "Wow! Your hair looks AWESOME today, girl!" She was probably feeling pretty great, frying up some fried rice and talking about what a big order that was for Table 19. Maybe she was even flirting with a cute cook in the kitchen, feeling pretty confident because she was having such a great hair day. Then the beef and broccoli and vegetable fried rice from Table 19 come back and suddenly the news is all over the place: her hair ruined some lady's appetite and cost the restaurant $24.50 . . .

What a blow to the self-esteem, huh? I bet she even stopped flirting with that cute cook.

I'll be honest. If I find a hair in my food, I'll just pick it out. It really doesn't bother me. Well, except for that one time that my mom and I got Krispy Kreme donuts in Tuscaloosa, Alabama and she found a hair in the box. Let's just say it was not the TYPE of hair you want anywhere near your food. I hadn't seen it and I had my mouth open, donut on the approach when I heard my mother yell "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" and dive for my hand. That time, we just closed the box quickly and vowed never to speak of it again.

So why does hair delight us and disgust us all at the same time? I don't know. And frankly, I can't think right now because I'm really full. I had kind of a big dinner . . .

8 comments:

The Queen of my Domain said...

Gross!!! It DOES bother me, and I had to stop eating my Rice Krispies....thankyouverymuch! :)

Anonymous said...

i just wish i wasnt sipping my coffee when i read the part "well thank you very much jenny craig, just put our order in!"
it wasnt a pretty feeling to stop the coffee inside my nostrils so that i didnt spray it all over our laptop!!!
i will keep in mind to avoid drinking when you come for your visit this summer!!!!:) kirsten(kellys sister).

Anonymous said...

Did she do the thing where she disarms the unsuspecting waiter with her sweet sing/song Southern voice and then clobber the poor kid with her harsh Chicago tone? You know, "Excuse me,waiter, may I ask your name?" "Brad Maam" says he. "WELL BRAADDD...( and off with his head!)

Catherine said...

I actually meant to write a sidenote in the post but didn't do it. So I'll do it here . . .

Sidenote: My mom would want you all to know that she was VERY nice to the waiter. She made sure he knew that she wasn't upset and that it wasn't his fault. The manager came over and she was the same way with him. I didn't really say much to them because I was enjoying my hairless dinner.

Nora said...

Alright Mr. or Mrs "Anonymous"...my mom has never spoken to ME in a harsh Chicago tone (and trust me, I've deserved it), much less a WAITER!! In fact, she would be horrified that anyone would even think that. I just felt like I needed to stick up for my sweet sweet precious baby Dearsie. Yo mom - can I borrow 20 bucks? what?

Love,
The Sweet Baby of the Family

Erin said...

Okay, now I'm giving myself a headache. I think I figured it out (thanks to Catchy). Mom was logged into gmail on my computer, so it kept defaulting to her. What a rip off. Hopefully this is the last time this happens!!

Gardale said...
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Catherine said...
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