Thursday, May 28, 2009

Et tu Brute?

I've had a bad back since I was about 15 and I've just learned to deal with it. This sounds like a fun blog so far, huh?

A few years ago, I bought a great mattress that I LOVE and that was intended to help ease my back pain. It's super firm (and, thus, supportive) but it has this great pillow top on it that makes it feel like the softest mattress you've ever laid on. It's awesome. But, even with the great mattress, I wake up almost every morning with a stiff back and that is NOT fun. My back was really bothering me recently when I went to San Angelo and I was worried that the hotel bed would make it worse. But the next morning, my back felt AMAZING. This is when I had my horrible realization . . . my great mattress is making my back hurt! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

My mom called me the other day to remind me that we need to go look for a new mattress so that I can finally have a morning when I don't walk like Igor. After all, if I'm going to walk like Igor, I should at least have the benefit of knowing a mad scientist who can make a man for me. Right? ANYWAY, as my mom is talking to me about how we need to get out there and shop for a new mattress for me, my mind wanders back to the night I bought my current mattress. Let me take you there with me . . .

[Mattress Giant parking lot, circa 2004. Mom and I are sitting in my car while Mom gives me a pep talk about buying my first mattress.]

Mom: Now listen to me, these mattress salesmen are worse than car salesmen.
Me: Ok.
Mom: They'll say anything to get you to buy a mattress TONIGHT so don't let them talk you in to that, ok?
Me: Ok.
Mom: I mean, they'll say "We're having a sale but it ends tonight." or "I have to meet my quota so I'll sell this mattress to you for this much." or "If you buy it tonight, I'll throw in free delivery."
Me: Ok.
Mom: But you just tell them that we'll come back. Tell them this is the first place we've stopped and you're not ready to buy one just yet. And you can always tell them that you have to go home and get your checkbook. If it's a really good deal, we can always go right back in and buy it.
Me: Ok.
Mom: Ok, let's go. Remember - we're just looking around . . .
Me: Ok.

[Inside Mattress Giant, after I've found the mattress that I want]

Salesman: Ok, the price on that mattress is $1200.
Me: Ok, thanks. We've just started looking so we have a couple other places we need to check out.
Salesman: Well, it's on sale today and the sale ends tonight. Tomorrow it goes back up to 1500.
Me: Well, thanks for the information.
Salesman: Tell ya what . . . I haven't met my quota tonight and I really need to sell a mattress so I'll knock the price down to [punches some numbers on his calculator] $1000.
Me: [Wow - Mom is goooooooooooooooooood! She called it!] Ok, well I think I want to look around some more. This is the first place we've stopped so we want to keep looking.
Salesman: Well, I hate for you to lose out on this deal.
Me: Well, we'll probably be back but we want to look around a bit more.
Salesman: Well, let me see if I can make it a harder decision for you. [punches on calculator] Tell ya what - if you buy this mattress tonight, I can sell it to you for $800.
Me: Ok. Well, I need to think about -
Salesman: And I'll throw in free delivery.
Me: Well, I need to -
Mom: [wide-eyed, turning on me] YOU'VE GOTTA BUY THIS MATTRESS.
Me: Wait - what . . .? [Is she testing me??]
Mom: [with frantic look in her eye] You've gotta buy this mattress.
Me: [Et tu Brute??] Well, I need to go home and get my checkboo--
Mom: [now she's almost breathless] You can use mine. You can just write me a check later.
Me: Okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay . . .

But even though it was one of the most supremely confusing moments of my life, it resulted in me getting a great deal on a great mattress. So I'm kinda bummed that it has to be replaced. But, on the bright side, going mattress shopping with my mom will no doubt give me ANOTHER good story to tell. I'll just have to make sure I leave my checkbook home again. But, then again, I'm not sure that will do me any good . . .


Unknown said...

I actually only made one BIG mistake. The last thing I should have said to you before going into that store was "And, for heaven's sake, leave me out here in the car!"

Alana said...

I LOVE you NORA!!! I don't know how many times I have heard this story- But I laugh each time!! Thanks Catchy for my early morning pick-me-up!

Alana said...

Another book title option:

Mattress Bargaining with Nora

Erin said...

A true classic in Nora history. :)

Emma said...

One of my favorites!! You're better than Starbucks for starting a day off right!:)

Unknown said...

I love how Nora called each and every move that the salesman was going to make, and yet she totally pressured you into buying the mattress, too! Awesome Nora story!