Monday, February 1, 2010

Not. Good.

There are moments in life that create such terror in you that your heart actually - nay, LITERALLY - skips a beat. Moments that make you you cringe in horror. Moments where you consider running away and changing your name. Moments where you curse your heart for resuming its beat. You've experienced them. So I have I.

You know what I'm talking about. Like when you check your nose in the dressing room mirror and then wonder if it's a two-way mirror with a security guard on the other side watching you examine your nostrils in your underwear and you wonder if you were at least sucking your stomach in. Or when you reply to a friend on a mass email with a snotty comment about one of the other people on the email list and then realize that you just replied to all. Or like when you offer to pay for lunch for everyone, then order a bunch of appetizers to demonstrate your generosity, and insist that they all order dessert "on you" aaaaaaaaand then you realize that you left your debit card at home. Or when you're eating queso with a cute guy and then you drop a big hunk of it on your left boob and find yourself saying things like "Thank goodness for these things - would've been such a waste if that had hit the floor." You know, things like that.

But, recently, someone said words that made me want to die. Made me want to crawl under a rock and never make eye contact with anyone again. We were having a conversation with my mom and, suddenly, my world was shaken:

Mom: Can you see who all has been looking at your facebook page?
Me: No.
Friend: Actually, I think that you CAN.

What?

What?

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT??

What is the world coming to?? Are you telling me that now - suddenly - I'm no longer allowed to facebook stalk people anonymously?? That now I can't look at my 2nd grade friend's pictures from her 2008 trip to Guatemala without being "discovered." That when I look on that cute guy's wall to see what girls are writing to him that he'll KNOW I'm potentially unstable??

What a rip off.

I have no idea if this is true or merely a vicious lie designed to keep me awake at night, tossing and turning and dreaming about restraining orders. If it IS true, I'm gonna have a LOT of explaining to do to people . . .

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

ummmm..... please find out if this is true! yikes!

Ms. E said...

I say, if a guy hasn't made his FB crap private, "friends-only", then he is just hoping you'll look. Don't sweat it.

But seriously, I don't think you can check. It's not like the dating sites where you can see "who's viewed me".

Ms. E said...

But, if it is, then I want to find out who's been checking ME out!

The Queen of my Domain said...

Holy cow!! Just another reason to hate Facebook!!! :)