Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Triple Sow Co-- what was THAT??

I told you yesterday that I love the Olympics. Like in a ridiculous way. And I'm recording it which means that I have 10 hours worth of Olympics to watch every night when I get home. I'm going to have to quit my job so that I can keep up with it all . . .

Last night I watched the pairs figure skating, which has always been a favorite of mine. I sat down with my Diet Dr. Pepper and got comfy in my chair, ready to pretend that I know the difference between a triple sow cow and a double axle, and watched them skate. And fall. And spin. And fall. And fly through the air. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand fall.

What the heck?? I mean, did they not KNOW they were going to have to do jumps? Did their coaches forget to tell them this was the FREAKING OLYMPICS??

And what really got me was when the couples were about to do their big jumps, the announcers would say things like "And here come their side-by-side jumps. This is her weakness." What? How is the jumping your weakness when you're in the Olympics? Seems like the "jumping" part should really set you apart from people like me. Isn't that really what "figure skating" is? I mean, without the jumps, aren't you just skating around the rink down at the Galleria? That just doesn't make sense to me.

And don't you wonder what's going through their partners' minds when they fall? Like when the girl sticks her landing and she looks back and sees the guy on his butt mid spin cycle, does she think "Oh no - I hope he's okay!" or does she think "You stupid son of a -." And it's really awkward when the girl falls after the guy throws her into the air because that move is usually done at a dramatic moment in the music. The music swells poignantly, the guy throws his partner in the air, and then immediately chases after her with arms outstretched and the dramatic look of a torn and desperate lover on his face. So when the girl falls at that point, I always wonder how the guy manages to stay in character. Because you KNOW that he's really thinking "Oh . . . come . . . OOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!! ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME???" But somehow he manages to keep the dramatic look on his face and keeps on skating as if nothing ever happened.

Honestly, if it were me out there, I would absolutely lose it. I would burst into tears and skate off the rink blubbering. They'd be talking about my performance and wondering where I had gone and then they'd see me in the stands running to my mommy. And then I'd curl up into the fetal position in her lap and start sucking my thumb.

So I have to admire them for their ability to keep on going after their NUMEROUS spills and for not just cussing at each other and skating off the rink mid-song.

But can we PLEASE work on the whole jumping thing for 2014? Because, otherwise . . . PUT ME IN COACH!!

4 comments:

Nora said...

I laughed and laughed. I have thought the same things you wrote about soooooooo many times!!!!!!!

The Queen of my Domain said...

AWESOME!!!!!! Loved it!!! I think you speak for all of us! GReat!!

Ms. E said...

On KSBJ this morning, Susan O'Donnell used the whole falling, and getting back up and still putting your all into it, as a analogy for life. As well as the people who come from little, warm countries that don't really have winter. They put their all into it, whether they have a chance to win or not. And those who fall, have the grace to just get up and keep going. I'm not re-telling it well. :(

But I do see your point.

Erin said...

Oh catchy catchy CATCHY. I laughed soo hard reading this. Now Matt will see that I'm not the only one that talks about these things non stop during the performances!!