Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Tooth Fairy for a Day

This weekend I had a slumber party with my nieces and my nephew. We made a blanket fort in the living room and all piled in to watch a movie and eat our chocolate chip cookies and Neapolitan ice cream. The kids had a blast and I finally got to break in my bottle of Resolve Carpet Cleaner so it was really a Win-Win situation for everyone involved.

But I must confess something to you here: I was too preoccupied to enjoy this slumber party. Why? Because my niece had lost her tooth and that meant that I was going to have Tooth Fairy duties. I mean, my sister had brought me the money and the letter from the Tooth Fairy and all I had to do was put it all under Savannah's pillow after she fell asleep but I was SWEATING it big time and just wanted to get it all over with. I wanted them to fall asleep so that I could do it and stop the profuse sweating in my armpits.

When it finally came time for bed, I made a pallet in my bedroom for the kiddos and they all picked their spots. I had them go potty before getting too comfortable and, since all I wanted was to get them to bed quickly so that they could get to sleep faster so that I could discharge my duties, it was the longest, poopingest potty time EVER. Of course.

Now, the kids are in the stage right now where they LOVE to talk about poop. For instance, a typical joke from Avery or Ben (and more often Ben and Avery together) right now is:

Ben/Avery: Catchy - Knock Knock!
Me: Who's there?
B/A: POOP!!!!
Me: [blank stare]
B/A: Catchy, you're supposed to say "Poop who?"
Me: Poop who?
B/A: POOP ON YOUR FACE!!! [and then they laugh hysterically and run off together]

So since they love poop right now, this particular potty time was especially exciting for them. First, Ben went into the potty downstairs and Avery stood outside the bathroom and yelled "Ben! Hurry up! I have five turds I need to get out!" I have no idea how she knew the number but she did. Then Emma went in to the potty in my room and a few minutes later, she yelled out "Caaaaaaaaaaaaaatchy - I'm gonna be a while." I said okay and then, just to make sure I understood: "You might want to send everyone to the potty downstairs because this is going to take me a loooooooooooooooooooong time." I said okay and then Savannah realized what was going on and ran out to excitedly tell everyone that Emma was "making a deuce!!"


Anyway, so after a potty time that will not soon be forgotten by my toilets, I finally got everyone to bed and then laid down in my bed to wait for them to fall asleep. I felt like I had just slammed back a Mountain Dew - my eyes were wide, my pulse was racing, and I couldn't stop twiddling my thumbs. Interestingly, it appeared that the kids had all just slammed back a Mountain Dew or two because they were NOT fading off as I had thought they would. In fact, at 1:15 - yes, that's AM - Ben and Avery were still talking and Ben was telling me that he couldn't get to sleep because his legs were still awake and he can NEVER get to sleep if his legs are awake. I had no idea how to respond to THAT one so I just assured him that his legs would fall asleep with the rest of him if he just tried to go to sleep.

Finally, around 1:45ish the kids fell asleep. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand so did I . . .

Around 3:30 I awoke with a start, thanks to my VERY full bladder. I tiptoed through my room, around four sleeping kids, went to the bathroom, and put on some more deodorant for the job that lay ahead. Then I came back to my bed, took a deep breath, and began "Operation Don't Wake Up The Kids And Ruin The Idea of The Tooth Fairy For All Of Them."

My mom recently made a Tooth Fairy pillow for each of the kids using some of my dad's work shirts. They are really precious. Each pillow has the buttons and the pocket from his shirt so that the kids can put their tooth inside my dad's pocket and then the Tooth Fairy can leave money and a note in there for the kids. Savannah had brought her pillow with her and, lucky for me, she had decided that she would leave the little tooth pillow at the foot of my bed rather than under her pillow so that the Tooth Fairy would know where it was. I said a silent prayer of thanks for that one - the idea of trying to get the tooth out from under her head without waking her up had REALLY stressed me out.

So I got the little bag that Erin had left with me that had the money and the note in it and a box for me to put the tooth in so that she could save it. She had told me that I would need to just fold the note in half to make it fit into the pocket on the pillow. No problem, right?

Have you ever tried to fold paper in a quiet room at 3:30 in the morning when you're trying not to wake anyone up?? You should try it sometime. It really gets the blood pumping.

So I sat on my bed, trying to fold the note while simultaneously planning my escape route if I were to hear anyone stirring. I finally finished and then came the equally difficult task of quietly placing - or in this case, shoving - the note into the pocket. I tried a couple of times and was appalled at the amount of noise it made. I figured I should treat it like a Band-Aid and just do it quickly. I took a deep breath, wiped my brow, stared at the pillow nervously as if I were trying to decide between cutting the red wire or the blue wire, and then did it. And I have to say I was pretty proud of myself. And I also realized that I could have had a cocktail party in my room and the kids would have slept right through it.

The next morning, Savannah was so excited to see that the Tooth Fairy had come so it was REALLY fun to have been a part of that. And I learned a couple of lessons that will help me if I ever get to play the Tooth Fairy for my own kids:

First: Fold the note beforehand.
Second: Kids can sleep through a bombing next door.
Third: You can never have too much deodorant on.


Unknown said...

A deuce?

Anonymous said...

ohhh Catchy...I'm glad you're so comfortable with the bathroom humor. You're going to be in for a treat over the weekend in our one bathroom house that 5 people will inevitably have to use all at the same time each morning! : ) I can't wait to see you! - kacey

Emma said...

VERY funny!! :) Liked the red wire/blue wire bit!!

Anonymous said...

potty humor is a stage?

Unknown said...

the red wire/blue wire was HILARIOUS!!! The whole things was hilarious! I really laughed at the knock knock jokes because I have certainly been getting my fair share of those too. :) so so funny! You did really good as my tooth fairy sub, catchy!!

Mom---tell me you are kidding! You have never heard of dropping a deuce?? Do I only know this because I live with Matt? I have so many lovely names for it now.

Jill said...

Me too Erin. We are married to big, dirty boys.

Catchy. This post was HIL-AR-I-OUS! Loved it!!! Red wire/blue wire was my favorite! I'm also going to be stealing your mom's idea of using shirts for toothfairy pillows. I LOVE that idea. It plays right into my new love of repurposing mens shirting fabric.