Friday, September 18, 2009

More deposition fun!

I was preparing for trial recently and had to read the deposition that I had taken of the offender. I blogged last week about my discussion with him about drugs because I had to laugh at my ignorance about that subject matter. But as I was reading the rest of his deposition, I noticed something else that made me laugh: my complete inability to let his grammar mistakes go . . .

Q. Is [the tattoo] like pictures of y'all?
A. No. Just like teardrops with the initials beside them.
Q. And what does that mean?
A. Just the tears that I've cried to myself about them certain individuals.
Q. And THOSE people are your mom, your dad, your sister --
A. No, my dad ain't in there.
Q. Your dad IS NOT in there. Okay.

I also had to laugh at our discussion of his gang involvement. He had spent some time in the Crips and then left the Crips to join the Klan. I had read that in the file before deposing him and I was very curious about that - those two groups seem pretty mutually exclusive to me. So when I deposed him, I asked him some questions about it. But it didn't really clear any of my confusion up for me . . .

A. I'm not part of [the Klan] no more.
Q. Right.
A. I got a letter from the Imperial Wizard telling me I'm no longer.
Q. Right. [Said more like "Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight."] Because of your sexual offending history?
A. Because when this right here started that's when he dropped me.
Q. Okay. How did the Imperial Wizard know about your offenses?

[Did I just really use "Imperial Wizard" in a sentence?]

A. The lady named Jackie, she does background checks to see what's going on in people's lives.
Q. Okay.

[Wait - I was too busy laughing at the fact that I just said "Imperial Wizard" with a straight face . . . did he just say that the Klan does background checks?]

A. And they found out about --
Q. She works for the Klan? [A look of disbelief on my face . . .]
A. Yeah.

[Yep - that's what he said. Keep a straight face, Catherine. Whatever you do, don't smile. DON'T SMILE . . .]

Q. I'm sorry. I'm smiling. That's so rude. It's just I never thought of the Klan as -- as, you know, doing background checks. That's why I'm -- it's just -- I'm sorry. I'm not trying to be rude. I'm smiling, but that's rude. [Pull it together, Catherine!] OKAY . . . So she did a background check and found out that you had the sexual offense history. And so she -- that's --
A. She told the Imperial Wizard, and I got a letter telling me I'm no longer.
Q. Your -- your membership was kind of revoked?

[This is hilarious.]

A. Yes.
Q. Okay. So I'm confused on how you are a member of the Crips and then become a member of the Klan.
A. I -- I dropped the Crips myself.
Q. And so [how do I say this?] the -- the Klan -- so I -- I -- what -- what confuses me is that the Klan is typically a -- I mean, that's -- that's -- you are -- it's an Aryan --

[Well, that went pretty smoothly . . .]

A. Yeah.
Q. an Aryan brotherhood. Right?
A. Organization.

[Okaaaaaaaaaaay. "Organization" it is.]
Q. Aryan Organization. So you don't like people of other races. Correct?
A. That -- it's not that. I had say -- I see different people as -- as a skin.


Q. I'm sorry?
A. I see different races as a skin.

[Wow - that's profound, buddy.]

Q. As a skin. Different --
A. To a certain extent.
Q. To a certain extent. Okay.

[Why do I keep repeating what he's saying?]

A. And what they did, see how people disrespect my race, the white race.

[Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight . . .]

Q. Okay. Because you were a member of the Crips, and aren't the Crips -- would that be primarily African-Americans?
A. Yes. But everybody -- the Klan really ain't a hate organization.
Q. It's not?
A. No.
Q. Okay . . . Because I thought it was.
A. No.

[Well, they might want to hire a new PR person, then . . .]

Q. Are you called The Night Walker?
A. That was my Indian name, yes?
Q. That was your Indian name?
A. Yeah.
Q. Okay. Well, how --
A. My religion -- my religion was Native American. I'm a quarter Apache.

[The Crips, the Klan, and the Apaches. Say what you want about him, this guy's pretty well-rounded.]

Q. Was this before you got involved in the Klan?
A. Yes.
Q. Okay.
A. Another Apache gave me that name.
Q. What is the Klan's view on Indians?
A. I mean, they basically say not -- not considered white.
Q. Okay.

[Yeah. Basically.]

A. Klan -- Klan believes that they're the Aryan -- the Aryan race is the chosen race.
Q. Okay.
A. They're -- I can't say that word. "Superior" --
Q. Uh-huh.

[Ahhhhhhh, the irony . . .]

Friends, I've said it before and I'll say it again . . . I love my job!


Phyllis Eddings said...


Emma said...

Unbelievable! Very funny!

Anonymous said...

LOVED the hiring a new PR person comment. Hilarious!