Monday, September 14, 2009

Ahhhhhhhh the awkward phase . . .

I do love a good awkward phase. I like to see them in the mall. Or at the movie theatre. Or on television.

Ooooooooooor in our old family photos.

Let me tell ya friends - the Palmore family doesn't do anything halfway. Including awkward phases. If you flip through a few of our family photo albums, you're gonna see your fair share of awkward phase photos. It's one of my favorite pastimes. If you had a key to my mom's house, it would be one of yours, too.

As you know, my awkward phase started in 4th grade, thanks to a fateful trip to Fantastic Sams that resulted in a permed mullet. But, unfortunately, it didn't end there. What can make a permullet worse? I'll tell you my friends . . . an off-the-charts growth spurt. I am 5'7" now and was 5'5" in 5th grade . . . I was TALL. It was fate's cruel joke on me. There I was entering 5th grade, wanting only to blend in but, instead, I was sporting the remnants of a permullet and towering over everyone around me like Big Bird. Luckily for me, that part of my life is memorialized in my 5th grade picture:

Check me out. I've got a permullet that's trying it's hardest to grow out, the shoulder pads of a linebacker, and I'm like 6 feet tall. Being taller than all the boys around you is NOT a good feeling when you're in 5th grade so I was SUPER happy when the photographer had me stand in the back center spot. But at least I didn't wear my Hard Rock Cafe sweatshirt . . .

On a side note, my luck changed the next year in 6th grade . . .

Thank goodness for Mike Hamm. I look positively overjoyed that he took the back center spot.

So allow me to recap: a permullet in 4th grade and a towering permullet in 5th grade . . . no, no one had a more awkward phase than me.

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell, I stand corrected . . .

Tammy wins. Man, this picture is awesome. Just AWESOME. This haircut was amazing - I call it the Q-tip, a close cousin of the mullet. And the glasses . . . wow. I mean, seriously - my family has a class action lawsuit against Fantastic Sam's. Yep - I concede victory to Tammy.

But Erin comes in at a close second. This is Exhibit A in our class action lawsuit . . .

Did someone use a hacksaw on her?? I shall never complain again.

You know, these pictures are great and all. But every once in a while you run across a picture that takes your breath away. A picture that you want to burn and frame all at the same time. That picture for me was this little gem that captured the convergence of all three awkward phases:

Wait for it . . .


Wait for it . . .


Here you go . . .

What do I like most about this picture? It's hard to say. There are so many awesome things to enjoy: the length of Tammy's pants, her brown boat shoes, Erin's choice of a St. Patrick's Day sweatshirt for our day at Dicken's on the Strand at Christmastime, my filthy velcro tennis shoes, Tammy's tucked in sweater vest, my Judge Judy collar, or my belt? They're all so great. But I think the best part was that this picture was an 8x10. Which means that my dad had it blown up because he loved and wanted to frame it. That's almost as hilarious as the picture itself.

Ahhhhhhhhhh . . . I DO love a good awkward phase.

8 comments:

Ashley said...

Is that the Saint of Awkward Phases? And why were you hiding behind him? I love it!

The Queen of my Domain said...

I do NOT like you!!!! AND I will have you know that my sweater vest was not tucked in!!.....as for the rest of it, well....ain't got much to say! :) LOVED the ending...that you found a picture of all of us in our awkard phases.....Hilarious! :)

Anonymous said...

What was up with the Hard Rock Cafe shirts in the first picture?

Melissa Bookhout said...

I found a picture of me with a permed mullet. Only problem is I was 30 years old! I should have known better....

Erin said...

OMG OMG OMG!! I am CUH-RACKING up right now. I thought the Mike Hamm thing was gonna be my favorite and then I scrolled to TAMMY!! I literally spit out my drink! That last picture is HILARIOUS. It definitely shows a his unconditional love for us that he had that blown up. I'm pretty sure Tammy is wearing Dad's deck shoes (shocker :) )

Tracy said...

I'm trying not to laugh so loud that I wake up my sleeping hubby. Too funny! My favorite is the St. Patrick's Day sweatshirt at Christmastime!

Emily K said...

Okay, I typed a really long thing and then it disappeared. I am going to try to recreate it here:

First, in 5th grade I wanted a Hard Rock Cafe t-shirt so badly it hurt. You can see how this would have been important. Second, this was the year that my 4th grade best friend told me that, no matter what I wore, I would never be cool enough to be her friend. She is on the first row in this picture. Third, Mike Hamm and Jerome Wahl (pretty short) were both in my band class and both played trombone. Mike never extended his arm far enough to hit the notes correctly and Jerome always went too far. Hilarious! Finally, I'm glad you didn't go with the ridiculous bangs that marked our 6th grade year. Bonus: do you remember the time that Mrs. Reynolds' had a hickey? At least that is what we all thought.

Catherine said...

Emily - you're hilarious. I DO remember the hickey that Mrs. Reynold's was sporting! I had totally forgotten about that! The Hard Rock Cafe shirt thing in his picture is HILARIOUS to me . . . it's so funny that those were all the rage and that Karen, Clare, Kristyn, and Lacey coordinated for our big picture day. I just love it.

And about the bangs - I made up for it in 8th grade . . .