Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Contradictions all around!

Lately, I have felt surrounded by contradictions.

It started when I was at my mom's house talking to her about her new One A Day vitamins. She was very excited about them because they were like gummi bears only in the shape of fruits. She had me try one and I must admit that they were pretty good - I even went back for another one. Before doing that, though, I decided to read the information on the back of the bottle. That's when I noticed that the instructions said to "take two a day."


How can a vitamin called One A Day require you to take TWO a day?

A few days later, my friends and I went to Subway for lunch. I don't know if you've been to Subway lately but they've been running a promotional Scrabble game. It's kind of like the Monopoly game that McDonald's used to run. You buy a drink with your meal and there are little game pieces on the side of the cup that you peel off. As we sat there eating our sandwiches, I peeled my game piece off. I got one piece that had a letter on it (for the Scrabble game that I'll never play and, therefore, useless to me) and I had another piece that said "Instant Winner" on the top. I was very excited and looked further down to see what my instant prize was. But, to my dismay, in the spot where my prize would be listed, all I saw was "You are not an instant winner."


I've never gone from winning to losing in such a short amount of time.

Today, we went to lunch at the local Chinese Buffet. I know, I know - a Chinese buffet in Huntsville is enough of a contradiction. But there's more. We walked in, found our seats, and then dove into the goodies on the buffet. We were surrounded by Chinese writings, Oriental decorations, and other items consistent with an Asian motif. We sat down and dug in. As we were sitting and chatting, I became aware of the music playing over the PA. I thought I heard "Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!" so I listened more closely and, sure enough, it was straight-up gospel music.


Well, makes sense - fried rice always makes me want to put on my choir robe and have church. Love that stuff.

As I was driving on 45 today, I came upon a slow vehicle so, naturally, I decided to pass it. I moved over to the left lane and then I noticed that the car was swerving over the line into my lane so I slowed down to keep a little distance between us. Then the car swerved over onto the shoulder. I started to wonder if the driver was drunk and then I saw that she was reading. READING. She had a packet of paper on her steering wheel and was just swerving all around. I was just disgusted with her. DISGUSTED. I quickly passed her, gave her a glare, and then pulled out my phone to text Jill about it.


Oh well - the contradiction thing was bound to rub off on me sooner or later . . .


Emma said...

Those were funny, but the last one was the BEST!! Perfect! :)

Unknown said...

I would have texted Jill after I finished putting my mascara on!!