Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Catherine is typing.

I love facebook. I heard someone call it the "virtual neighborhood" once and I love that description - when I check my homepage, it really is like running into some neighbors outside and hearing the latest news from their day. It's so fun. Plus, I'm keeping up with people I haven't seen in years. It's so great!

My mom is on facebook now and that has provided me with endless entertainment. One of my favorite things to do is to watch her when an IM pops up. It completely unnerves her and she starts saying things like "Oh noooooooooooooooooooo. What do I do nooooooooooooow??" She finally had to disable her chat because her nerves just could not take it. I was recently over at her house doing a facebook tutorial (these are the things we do in my family . . .) and we were tackling the idea of the status update. Once we got past the stress of picking the RIGHT thing to type, she posted her first status.

If you aren't familiar with facebook, let me explain the status to you. Facebook allows you to tell people what you're doing at any given moment. You just type in your status and then it appears on your friends' facebook pages so that they can be kept abreast of what's going on in your day or in your life. I'll get on my homepage and see that some of my friends are on vacation or home sick or just found out they are expecting a baby. It's a great way to stay up with the latest in everyone's lives.

The longer you're on facebook, the more you see that different people have different ways of using the status update. Here are just a few of them:

The play-by-play.
Some people use the status feature to really keep us posted about everything they're doing throughout the day. For instance, you'll pull up your homepage and see successive updates like so:

Catherine is going to copy some documents.
Catherine is frustrated because someone is already using the copier.
Catherine is FINALLY copying her documents.
Catherine is wondering when this copy job will ever be finished!!
Catherine hates paper jams!!
Catherine finally cleared the paper jam and is almost done!
Catherine is back at her desk and glad to be done with the copier.

These people take the idea of "status update" quite literally.

The teasers:
Others like to tease us with just enough information to get us asking questions. You know who you are. Here is how the teaser works:

Catherine is wondering when the pain will go away . . .
Catherine wonders if she'll ever get over what just happened.
Catherine wants all the drama in her life to just go away.
Catherine is not sure how much longer she can hold on . . .
Catherine just can't take it anymore.

These status updates inevitably get comments like "What's going on??" or "I'm praying for you." or "Suck it up and quit whining." Ok, not the last one. But you know you've wanted to write that a time or two.

The incorrect-use-of-is updates:
God bless 'em, some people just don't know how to use the "is" properly in the status update so you get lots of these types of statuses:

Catherine is oh my gosh I'm so tired.
Catherine is can you believe this weather??
Catherine is wow my neighbors are loud.

It's ok - "is" has tripped many people up so don't feel bad. It's a tough concept to grasp. Chin up, friends. Chin up.

The you-should-not-be-on-facebook-right-now updates:
I'm sure you've seen this type of update, too. It looks something like this:

Catherine is trying to outrun a rabid dog.
Catherine just shot a nail into her hand.
Catherine is about to rear-end the car in front of her.
Catherine can't figure out where all the blood is coming from.
Catherine thinks someone is trying to break into her house.

WHY ARE YOU ON FACEBOOK RIGHT NOW??? Put your iPhone down and concentrate on what you're doing!!

Aaaaaaah - I do love facebook! Where else can you find out that your friend from second grade got a sunburn at the beach or that the girl you sat next to in 10th grade English just saw something that scared her? I get to "see" these people everyday and get to keep up with their lives . . . what a great idea! And I hope to see YOU around the virtual neighborhood soon. But for now . . .

Catherine is thinks she's done with this post.


Emma said...

That was GOOOOOD! Another great closer, too!! Very, very funny, Catchy!

Erin said...

I laughed out loud when I read the part about the teasers. It's sooo true. I mean, just say it already. I always go read all the comments to look for clues and they are usually just a vague. sooooo irritating!

Phyllis Eddings said...

Can you go give MY mom a tutorial? I don't have your patience.

And, my oldest daughter, Sarah, uses the "is" option on purpose because she thinks it's funny. When I first got on FB, the "is" was already there. With the update, they took it out, but she still likes to add it in for grins.

Phyllis Eddings said...

P.S. don't you just love the confirmation words that google identity gives you. Many of them make me giggle, because they're close to real words, but not real words. For the previous post my "word" was "snomnic". It sounds like it could be a real word in another language....and maybe it is.
And the next one is "giverlo"

Unknown said...

I agree with Ms. E about the confirmation words. They usually crack me up but sometimes they shock me and I think to myself "What the heck?" and then realize they aren't supposed to be real words. So I just suck it up and type the word in just as I see it.

Catherine said...

I almost did a whole post about those words. But I couldn't think of enough to talk about so I decided against it. Now I wish I had!! :)

Anonymous said...

You should have, that post could have been way SNOMNIC!! Oh well that's shonessibuws.

Crystal said...

Hi! Christi M shared your blog with me and I'm so glad she did. You are HILARIOUS! Your blog makes me laugh out loud. My favorite part was the people that shouldn't be on facebook (where is all of this blood coming from?) Ha! Thanks for the laughs!

Denise said...

oh wow. that was great!
thanks for that!

Catherine said...

Thanks, Crystal! I'm so glad that you're reading it and that you like it!!

And, anonymous . . . very funny!! Y'all should not log in as "anonymous" when you're being funny . . . claim it, man!! :)

jessica wilson said...

ok, i can't get anything done today because i keep reading former posts since i am new to your blog!! Hilarious about Facebook- my husband says that stuff all the time- "some people out there would write in their status every time they took a #@&^ on the pot if they could" and then they would write "ok, i'm back now!" =)