Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Vacation! I'm so excited, I could DIE . . .

So I'm getting ready to head out of town tomorrow and have lots to do. You know how it goes . . . laundry, packing, cleaning the house - all the usuals. I would venture to say that MOST people like to clean their houses before they head out of town because they like to come home to a nice clean house after a tiring day of traveling. Right? Now that I'm an adult, that's why I clean my house before I leave town. But when I was a kid, we did it for a very different reason.

See, my mom's two favorite topics in life are death and diabetes. If she meets a new person, you can bet money that within 10 minutes she'll be talking about a tragic death she read about in the paper or how low her blood sugar dropped last night. And if she can talk to you about a tragic death caused by diabetes, she gets a special twinkle in her eye. So when other women were teaching their kids about the rewards of coming home to a clean house, my mom was teaching us about the importance of cleaning so that if we all died tragically on our vacation, we wouldn't be embarrassed by our grieving loved ones coming in to a messy house.

Recently, she's added a new super-uplifting thought to our vacation planning. We made reservations for my mom, my sisters, and I on a plane to DC and started getting excited about the trip. Then my mom starts talking about how we shouldn't all travel on one plane because if it crashed, the kids would be left with none of us and my brothers-in-law wouldn't have any help from us. She follows it up by saying that's why LOTS of couples travel separately. Ummmmm - have YOU heard of couples who travel separately so that only one of them will die tragically? I haven't. We handled her comment the way we always do - we laughed and laughed at her until our bellies hurt. We all agreed it was her most ridiculous idea yet.

Then my sisters changed their plane reservations so that we'd be traveling in two groups.

TRAITORS!!!

So my mom and I are traveling together EARLY tomorrow morning. Which means that I need to get back to cleaning my house - I still need to make sure that my underwear drawer is presentable and that my will is easy to find. Because that's what she's gonna wanna talk about tomorrow.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I need to Google stories about double diabetic amputees to entertain her with on the plane ride.

Better run . . .

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

One of the best yet! Thank you for a fun wednesday morning!

Diana said...

Great Nora(ism).... love it! I hope Joley reads this. Her point of view on flying is that if anyone flies they all fly together.... so if the plane crashes, they all die together.

Catherine said...

That's what my mom thinks! But what if just she and Jerry go?? That's the dilemma . . .