Wednesday, July 29, 2009

More to Dread

Clearly the lineup of shows this summer is designed to make me uncomfortable. The producers from all the different networks got together and said "You know that Catherine chick? Let's make her sweat bullets." And let me tell ya, friends - they're accomplishing that goal. We already talked about "Dating in The Dark" which had me in the fetal position for most of last night. I honestly thought that no other show could make me want to crawl under a table quite like that one.

And then I watched "More to Love." OH . . . MY . . . GOSH.

PLEASE tell me you watched it. PLEASE tell me that you have set it to record every week so that you won't miss an episode. In case you missed it, let me sum it up for you: it's "The Bachelor" for "full-figured" people . . . hence "More to Love." Get it? At first I thought it was a great idea and was totally ready to love it. I mean, who WOULDN'T love a show about some NORMAL looking people for once, right?? But after watching the first episode tonight, I'm not really sure about the whole thing. I thought the show was going to be about how these girls are a little on the heavy side but no big deal. Instead, the focus of the show appears to be how hard love has been for them because of their weight. It's not the direction I thought they were going so I have to adjust my expectations, I guess. But regardless of where they go with it, I'm gonna be tuned in every week hating that I love it.

So let me tell you what I love and hate about it so far . . .

LOVE . . . Some of the girls were actually talking about Spanx. How funny is that?? When have you ever seen a show where the "leading ladies" talk about wearing Spanx? Awesome.

HATE . . . You know how on reality shows, they generally put the name, age, hometown, and occupation of a contestant on the screen when that contestant is talking to the camera? Like, if Shelly is talking about how excited she is to be here blah blah blah, the producers put "Shelly; Austin, TX; 29; Receptionist" on the screen. Well, on this show, THEY PUT THEIR FREAKIN' WEIGHT. Are you kidding me??? So poor Shelly's information now reads "Shelly; Austin, TX; 29; Receptionist; 5' 5", 227 lbs." And that goes up on the screen EVERY TIME SHE TALKS. Why?? Why do we need this?? We can SEE she is full-figured so why do we need her weight to remind us. Poor girls!!

There's no way I'd let them put my weight up there repeatedly throughout the season. I remember telling my mom once that if I ever went missing and she decided to put Missing Person ads out, she better not put my weight down. I told her if she did, I'd never come home. She would, effectively, be driving me into the arms of my captors and they would become my new family. So why anyone would sign up for a show where your weight becomes public knowledge over and over and over again is beyond me. My armpits are sweating just typing about it.

LOVE . . . I think it's hilarious that there's more cleavage on this show than on all the other reality shows combined. And it's not like "I'm trying to be sexy" cleavage, it's more like "my weight goes straight to my boobs" cleavage. Love it!

HATE . . . on the previews for upcoming episodes, they show the girls going to Prom with Luke (the Husky Bachelor . . . oh! that would be a good name for the show!) and there's a bunch of drama. I'm already dreading that episode because I KNOW they're going to milk the whole "I didn't get to go to prom" thing and it's gonna make me feel so awkward and insulted for them. They better not make a joke of these poor girls!!! BUT I will say that if the DJ at the "Re-Prom" plays Baby Got Back, I'm gonna laugh my butt off. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand then I'll cringe at the awkward dancing scenes that will no doubt ensue.

LOVE . . . the girls were standing around talking to Luke about food. I thought that was hilarious. Normally, you'd hear the bachelorettes talking to the Bachelor about his hobbies, his interests, his work-out schedule, or his job. But THESE girls are getting straight to the important stuff and getting the 411 on his favorite dessert. That's my love language, too, girls.

HATE . . . I hate the fact that I'm gonna be completely drawn in by this one and that I'm probably gonna cry for these girls every week. And I hate that it's going to be yet another hour of my week that I'm going to have to spend in the fetal position.

Oh well . . . it's who I am, people.

Love me through it.


Emma said...

Funny, Catch! Hadn't heard of this show til you told me about it.....I'll take a pass. :)

Phyllis Eddings said...

I saw the previews and opted out. At first I thought the same as you...normal people, not supermodel types, for a change. Then I saw that they were going to the other extreme. Supposedly there are some men who really like large-bodied women, but I wouldn't want one of them, 'cause while I do want someone to love me for who I am, regardless of my weight, I don't want someone who wants to jeopardize my health by encouraging me to stay overweight.