Monday, March 21, 2011

Save the urinal!

I've told y'all before about how I use a tracker service for my blog that tells me, among other things, how many people look at my website each day, what cities they're located in, and what search terms people are using to land on my blog. I sometimes like to entertain myself by looking at the different search terms that people have used - yes, I'm easily entertained. Now most of the time, people use pretty predictable terms like "catherine chronicles" or some variation of that, but SOMETIMES I get treated to a little dose of crazy.

For instance . . .

1) "to see a horse in human flesh, descending on a hammock through the air": Now, I wrote about dream interpretations once and talked about an interpretation I had seen for a horse in human flesh descending on a hammock. So I get why that search term landed someone on my website - that's not the disturbing part. What concerns me is that someone out there obviously just had a dream about a freakin' horse in human flesh, descending on a hammock through the air. Seriously, people - this is unsettling.

2) "clip art dropping man in toilet": Wow - who knew that the Mafia used clip art? Interesting. Veeeeeeeeery interesting . . .

3) "my dog ate a swiss cake roll will it kill her": Nooooooooo, silly! Swiss Cake Rolls can't kill anything but skinny people. If your dog is acting a little unusual, don't worry - it's just experiencing sheer bliss.

4) "evil elves" and "reindeer lickers": Someone out there has a very different understanding of what happens in the North Pole than I do . . .

5) "meaning of jumping on Ding Dong bandwagon": I've never heard of jumping on a Ding Dong bandwagon but I'm here to tell ya, folks - if ever there was a bandwagon for me jump on, that would be it.

6) "worst idea ever catherine chronicles": Shutyerface.

7) "who me clip art": If this is not a toddler running a google search then I think this person needs to focus on some good grammar clip art right now and THEN worry about discovering who he or she is . . .

8) "rolled my ankle on a curb": Okay, well . . . thanks for letting me know. Hope it's better . . . ?

9) "pooped doorless stall restrooms" and "pooping no door on stall": Wow. This is something people search the internet about?

10) "picture urinal conservation sign": Interesting. I wasn't aware that there was a urinal conservation effort. Who knew?

So those are the latest in the crazy searches that somehow led people to my page. But, hey - I'm not judging . . . I don't care how they get here, just as long as they get here!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to do a little searching about that Ding Dong bandwagon . . .