Thursday, December 9, 2010

Christmas Gift Ideas!!

I had to fly to Brownsville today for a hearing and my goal for the day was simple: do not get my throat slit by any drug cartels. I'm happy to report that I accomplished that goal and am safely seated in my living room, where my biggest danger is the rockin' gas that my dog has tonight.

On the flight home this afternoon - once I was sure no one would try to abduct me or force me to be a drug mule for them - I decided to look through the SkyMall magazine for some Christmas gift ideas. I didn't really find anything that would work for anyone on my list but, in the interest of helping you get YOUR shopping done, I thought I'd tell you about some of the more interesting items that I found.

Like . . .

The "Snore Terminator" . . . which is a gift that will no doubt result in an awkward conversation that begins with "Wait - do I snore???" The Snore Terminator is a little bracelet that you wear on your wrist at night. The bracelet has a tiny microphone which "detects snoring and sends safe electronic impulses (2 intensity levels) that cause you to change position without disrupting your sleep." Sounds like NOTHING could go wrong with that one . . .

The "Spy Text Reader" . . . This sweet little device lets you recover deleted text messages from a person's cell phone. The advertisement contained a picture of a cell phone with the message "Hurry up - she just left. Come over! :)" So this is the PERFECT gift for that happy couple on your list!

The "Relaxing Magic Showerhead" . . . This item promises to create a spa-like environment in your very own shower through the magic of LED technology. Apparently the showerhead lights up in brilliant colors like so:
And the best part of this showerhead is that the lights change colors every few seconds. So this gift is PERFECT for the person on your list who is so accustomed to being overstimulated that he needs a professional light show during his shower. You might want to consider Ritalin as a stocking stuffer for him, as well.

The "Wish Wrap" . . . This is a great option for that perpetually chilly person on your list:
Apparently, it is "just what you wished for - a cozy wrap you can wear around the house or around town." But please don't ACTUALLY wear it around town. Please . . .

The "SkyRest Pillow" . . . If you have someone on your list who travels a lot, you can give him or her this inconspicuous travel pillow:
I'm surprised I've never sat next to this guy on the plane . . .

"Peeing Boy Fountain" . . . Like its charming name suggests, this is a fountain designed around a statue of a boy peeing. Like so . . .
SUPER classy, right? Apparently it's a replica of a famous Tuscan fountain . . . those crazy Tuscans! [nervous laugh] But you know what? This isn't Tuscany, fool. Don't buy this fountain . . .

"Basho the Sumo Wrestler Table" . . . This is, by far, my favorite item that I found today. It's a table unlike any you've ever seen before:
I think this would be a lovely conversation piece in any living room. The catalog states: "Our table is topped with a 3/8"-thick, pencil-edged, 27" diameter tempered glass top for views from any angle." Interesting - they say that like that's a GOOD thing . . .

So I didn't have any luck finding any Christmas presents for the people on my list today. But I know that I'll run across more ideas as the month goes by - and I'll make sure to keep you in the loop as I do. Because you never know . . . I might find the perfect give for you to give that special someone this year! Just promise me one thing: if you buy that sumo wrestler table for someone, will you let me come over, stand behind it, and giggle uncontrollably like a 15 year old?

Because that would be gift enough for me . . .

1 comments:

Phyllis Eddings said...

I'd be afraid of what the backside of that table looks like.