A few weekends ago, I was out with my mom shopping for a few new Christmas decorations. It's always interesting to see the different styles of Christmas decorations out there - there is definitely something for everyone. But this year, as we walked through the store, I was struck by the strange decorations that were for sale. They seemed less like cute things you'd want in your house and more like escapees from the Island of Misfit Decorations. I'm just not sure who is buying these particular items.
Like this super classic decoration. I call it "Happy hoo hoo ha ha."
That's supposed to sound like a monkey. Say it again now that you know - hiLARious, right?? Thought so . . .
Then we have the two angels who got kicked out of the band because they couldn't quite figure out what to do with the horns . . .
I call them "Angels we have NOT heard on high . . ."
Or the Santa who was recently tortured on the rack . . .
The fact that he survived at all is a Christmas miracle. The fact that he celebrated survival with a snowflake hat is a shame.
And what Christmas would be complete without a witch-like figurine, stretching her bony fingers toward you, beckoning you to come closer?
If she asks you if you want to join her for Christmas dinner, run.
I think this poor kid got a little too close to the witch aaaaaaaaaaaaand ended up atop random kitchen items. This is a great decoration idea, don't you agree? I don't know about YOU but nothing puts ME in the holiday spirit quite like a kid's head on top of a strainer with a freakin' whisk sticking out of his side.
I call this next one "Joy to the World" because, lest you get carried away with happiness and fun this season, this little guy has a golden tear to bring you back down to Earth. And, frankly, it's about time someone created this Christmas decoration. I mean, sometimes we all need to be reminded that living on top of a teapot sucks. Am I right or am I right?
Finally, my favorite . . .
I imagine this is what Santa would look like if he fell off his sleigh somewhere over the Alaskan wilderness and had to survive in the wild for 30 years. Don't you want him on YOUR mantel with that wild, desperate look in his eyes? Just make sure you don't leave cookies out for him. He prefers squirrel. Medium rare.
Seriously - I really don't understand who is buying these things.
Unless of course YOU have them in YOUR house, in which case they are lovely. Just looooooovely.