Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Maple & Motormouth

I was in Dallas this weekend with my sisters and their kids for my cousin Lauren's wedding. On Friday afternoon, we decided to check out a local burger joint called Maple & Motor because we'd heard that they had great burgers. We got to the restaurant right in the middle of Friday lunch traffic so it was PACKED, of course, and there was a bit of a line. Since it's a small place, they make you line up outside and then gradually let you in as other people leave. When we were there, the owner was sitting outside like a bouncer, letting people in a few at a time. By the time we got to the front of the line, we were the only ones waiting outside so we struck up a conversation with the owner. He immediately started chatting with the kids and, at one point, tried to guess which one of us was Ben's mom. That's when this conversation happened:

Avery [6 years old]: Who do you think MY mom is?
Owner: [looks around and then points to me] That one.
Avery: [giggling] Nope! She's my aunt!
Ben [7]: Yeah. She's our aunt. She's not married yet.
Owner: [to me, jokingly] Oh really? What are you doing tonight?
Me: [giggling ridiculously and saying something like . . .] I . . . you . . . fun . . . ny . . .
Owner: [to Ben] Let me give you a little tip - never say "yet" to a woman. Just say "She's not married."
Ben: [confused] Okaaaaaay . . .
Owner: 'Cause she might not WANT to get married.
Ben: Oh no - SHE does.
Avery: Yeah - she dooooooooes.
Me: Oh God, please no . . .
Ben: Yeah. She's looking for . . . [then to my horror, he makes bird beaks with each of his hands and puts them together like they're kissing and then actually STARTS MAKING KISSING NOISES.]
Me: Someone shut that kid up.
Ben: She's looking for . . . [makes a downward swiping motion with his hand, like a cougar paw, and then actually MAKES A FREAKIN' COUGAR SOUND.]
Me: Wow. Interesting - this is SO much worse than I thought it would be . . .

You know - if I ever DO get married, I have NO idea what these kids will talk about . . .


Meagan Perry said...

BAHHAHHA i can only imagine how akward that was! Gotta love this things that come out of the little ones mouths and what they take in haha!

Anonymous said...

oh and don't forget, that Ben said you aren't married, but that you are dating around! That was pretty funny too! -erin