Last week, I was in Corpus Christi for a conference for work. During the conference, the Unit I work for had its annual meeting where all the different divisions get together for updates on protocol, etc. When we came into the meeting, we were given a packet of information in a large envelope. About halfway through the meeting, our boss called attention to the new phone lists for each division that were included in the packet. LITERALLY - yes, literally - 30 seconds later, I get a text from a number that's not programmed in my phone and the only thing the person said was "hello".
Naturally, I thought it was someone in the room who had just gotten my number from the new list and thought they'd mess with me. I tried to slyly look around the room without actually LOOKING like I was looking around the room. You know how that goes . . .
ANYWAY, my mysterious texter and I then had a little text exchange that went like this:
Mystery texter: Hello
Me: Hi! Who is this?
MT: Your worst nightmare
Me: Well, I doubt that. My worst nightmare is a Little Debbie Factory on fire. So try again . . .
[I secretly congratulated myself on that witty little quip and tried to avoid smiling at my own joke since someone was watching me. But I nonchalantly looked around to see if anyone was cracking up at my off-the-charts hilarity . . .]
MT: oh well not for long its going to be ME
Me: [going in for the kill, congratulating myself a little too early at the wittiness I'm about to whip out] Well, you use poor punctuation so you might be right . . . :)
[Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!!! Burn!!!! Whoever this is will laugh now and give in. We'll have a moment where we'll make eye contact across the room and he or she will give me a nod as if to say "Touche, my friend. Touche. You win." Like my own Mentos moment.]
I began to look around the room for my moment of victory. And then the next text came in . . .
MT: Hey im 11 and my initials are a.s.
Oh . . . crap . . .
Did I just insult an 11 year old's punctuation?????
Yep. That's what I did. My little friend Annie had just gotten a cell phone and was texting me for the first time from it. What are the chances that she would text me only SECONDS after my number was distributed around a room full of people I know? And on a day that I felt particularly feisty? It was the perfect set of circumstances and the worst possible outcome. I felt about an inch tall.
So, ironically, it really DID end up being my worst nightmare . . .
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Open phone, insert foot . . .
Posted by Catherine at 12:01 AM 0 comments
Labels: my life
Monday, September 28, 2009
The Horror Boat
Posted by Catherine at 1:17 AM 3 comments
Labels: my family, people I meet
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Happy birthday to MEEEEEEEE!!!!
Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday, dear meeeee-eeeee, Haaaaaaaaaaaaappy birthday to me!!
So what does one blog about on one's birthday? It's a big decision. Does one blog about oneself or does one pick a birthday-neutral topic? Does one refer to oneself as "one"? No, that's annoying. I have no idea how the Queen does it.
ANYWAY, today is my birthday. The 34th anniversary of the glorious day of my birth. I'll allow you to take a moment to give thanks . . .
Done? Are you sure? You didn't take very long. Try it again . . .
I really can't believe that I'm 34. I don't know how it happened. It seems like yesterday I was sucking food out of my braces and praying someone got me the New Kids CD I asked for. And then BAM! Out of nowhere I've got 6 gray hairs, I groan when I sit down, and I find myself agreeing with my mom that the sound system in the movie theater is too loud. What's happening to me?? It seems like it all happened in the blink of an eye. And the worst part about it is that there are so many things that I had planned to do by this point in my life that I haven't done. So I've decided to compile a list of things I want to do before my next birthday. Some are new and some are old dreams that never reached fruition but the one thing they have in common is that they are top priority for the coming year . . .
1. Create an adult-size Sit N Spin. Why hasn't anyone done this yet? I can't be the first one to come up with this idea. It's like a black-hole in the toy market and it's just staring us in the face. This must be corrected.
2. Change social norms so that eating a bacon cheeseburger with guacamole is considered dainty and attractive. Grilled chicken salads be damned!
3. Petition the Catholic Church to admit Little Debbie into Sainthood as the Patron Saint of My Fat Roll. She deserves the recognition.
4. Marry a doctor who worked his way through med school as a mechanic. Think about it - all of our major bills would be taken care of. He could come home and say "Honey, I got sued today." and I could say, "No problem. I'll take care of it. Oh and sweetie . . . I've got a cough and my brakes are squeaking." Dream. Team. And I don't think that's being too picky AT ALL.
5. Go to Italy. I had planned to save this for my honeymoon but since my future husband is apparently not an innovative go-getter who can find me while I'm sitting at home watching NCIS re-runs and playing Solitaire on my computer, I'll have to go by myself. We're gonna have a BIG talk about that when he finally knocks on my door.
6. Win a contest that lets me go on a 90-second shopping frenzy in a toy store. Don't ask me why. It was something I saw on some game shows when I was a kid and it stuck with me. And I would STILL go straight for the Cabbage Patch Kids.
7. Open for the New Kids on the Block. Don't you judge me.
8. Single-handedly take down the skinny jeans trend. It needs to be done, friends. Worst fashion idea EVER.
9. Be in a Hostess Factory during an earthquake so that I can eat my way out of the rubble.
10. Go skydiving. I'm really not sure why this is on my list but it's something that I used to want to do so I think it should be carried over onto my new birthday goals list. But it probably won't ever happen. I mean, I had to climb up onto the third rung of my ladder to change the light bulbs in my kitchen the other day and almost had a panic attack. Plus, I would be so self conscious jumping tandem with someone and would no doubt take offense if they said something like "Wow - we're falling a lot faster than I've ever fallen with anyone else. I hope our parachute has been eating its Wheaties!" Yeah, skydiving is a BAD idea. Better take that one off my list . . .
So will you pledge to help keep me on track this year? Will you promise that you will not let me rest until I'm in Italy with my doctor-mechanic husband on an international skinny-jeans-burning tour with the New Kids?
If you do, I promise I'll let you use my Sit N Spin . . .
Have a happy my birthday! :)
Posted by Catherine at 1:01 AM 5 comments
Labels: thoughts and observations
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Contradictions all around!
Posted by Catherine at 12:05 AM 2 comments
Labels: thoughts and observations
Monday, September 21, 2009
Hangin' out with the kids.
Posted by Catherine at 12:51 AM 5 comments
Labels: my family
Friday, September 18, 2009
More deposition fun!
Posted by Catherine at 1:20 AM 3 comments
Labels: my job
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
This should be fun . . .
Posted by Catherine at 1:57 AM 4 comments
Labels: Oh Nora . . .
Monday, September 14, 2009
Ahhhhhhhh the awkward phase . . .
Tammy wins. Man, this picture is awesome. Just AWESOME. This haircut was amazing - I call it the Q-tip, a close cousin of the mullet. And the glasses . . . wow. I mean, seriously - my family has a class action lawsuit against Fantastic Sam's. Yep - I concede victory to Tammy.
Posted by Catherine at 12:08 AM 8 comments
Labels: my life
Friday, September 11, 2009
Work it, girl. Work it.
I could never be a model. I mean, my main focus when I'm taking a picture is to make sure that I minimize the number of chins that will show up. That goal is all-consuming for me - I can't imagine having to focus on anything else. I would be horrible at it. You can't really flirt with the camera when you're sucking your stomach in, sticking your chin out, and praying that the camera only adds ten pounds to the girl standing next you.
Notice the parted lips, again. Adds a nice "I'm in a daze and I can't get out of it" effect to the look, don't you think?
God love her. Even when she tries the seductive leaning-on-the-bathroom-sink look, she can't get her face on board.
But she gave it her best shot on this one. I call it "When Irish Eyes Aren't Smiling."
I don't know what's more amazing to me: the fact that she can have a smile on her face and absolute emptiness in her eyes or the fact that she appears to be levitating. It's a toss-up for me.
Posted by Catherine at 12:38 AM 2 comments
Labels: thoughts and observations
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Yeah - I have NO idea what you're talking about . . .
Posted by Catherine at 12:15 AM 3 comments
Labels: my job
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Not so much into "planning" . . .
As I told you yesterday, I was in Tyler this weekend for a wedding. We spent Saturday morning running errands and taking pictures of bad business signs and whatnot. When we were done with that, we had a few hours left in the day before we had to start getting ready for the wedding so we decided to go to a local plantation for a tour.
Posted by Catherine at 12:06 AM 3 comments
Labels: my travels